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autistic teen legally banned from church |
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Posted By: abelajohnb
Ok, I'm going to be honest here.... I have NO IDEA how this blog should be categorized... but this is just amazing...
Here's the situation:
A Minnesota Catholic church has filed a restraining order against a family that was attending their church in an effort to stop the parents from bringing their "extremely disruptive and dangerous" autistic son to church.
According to Rev. Daniel Walz of the Church of St. Joseph, 13-year-old Adam Race once struck a child during mass, nearly knocks elderly parishioners over when he hastily exits the church, spits and sometimes urinates in church and fights when he is being restrained.
Walz said the church "explored and offered many options for accommodations that would assist the family while protecting the safety of parishioners. The family refused those offers of accommodation."
On one hand I totally understand the position of the church... after all, the kid has gone wee-wee in the church, hit and kicked people in the church (admitted by the mother) and a church has to do what a church has to do.
Do they face a lawsuit because they have allowed an uncontrollable person in their church, or file a restraining order against the kid and face all these bad PR issues?
The mother, believing the church wouldn't actually do anything against them, ignored the restraining order and keeps going... which led to a citation against Adam's mom - lol - and now the church has a local cop hanging out there very Sunday to stop her. And, of course, she defied them and now the poor local sheriff has already had to stop her and tell her she'd be arrested if she brought Adam to the Church again. (how'd you like to be the cop that has to do this every sunday)
Ok, now, before everybody thinks I'm just some mean evil guy... let me say, my former pastor has a son with sever autism... so I fully know and understand both what the family has to go through, and what those in the church have to go through -- and it is not easy on either end of things. I myself spent a great deal of time with their son durning church services, to help them be able to focus on the worship, and not their son which, like most autistic children, can have their moments.
FoxNews has got an interesting interview with the mother, which, after hearing it, actually made me confirm my initial thoughts about this... which are, I suppose... on the side of the church.
I mean, if a church is faced with some innocent child walking through the church, or some senior citizen trying to get out to their car after church, from getting bush-wacked by a 6-foot 250 pound person that really (as seems to be obvious by all I have read about this kid) is not able to control himself during his times of.. err what was the word the mother used.. ah, yes... "he exhibits meltdowns"... then what exactly IS the church suppose to do?
Oh, by-far the best quote from this mother was this... "We always go at the same time and sit in the same spot... and if people do not like it, they can go to another parish."
Ohhhh, I get it now!! So, now all the parents with young children, and all of the older people are suppose to leave that church, just because one mother cannot control her sons "meltdowns" -- umm, yeah, ok... sure... NOT !!!
Hey, I don't know... maybe it is just me, but as I see it, this should be a serious lesson learned - after all, this is America, the land of lawsuits and lawyers - and the Catholic church has had to learn a great deal about the legalities of such over the last five or so years!
Perhaps this can be one of those lessons learned, after all, is it not more important to protect the future of the church then to protect a single individual?
John
(ok, let the ranting begin)
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Posted: 05/22/08 8:24am - Total Views: 795 - Category: Christian News
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Blog Tags: church,
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lilysvalley |
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Posted by:
lilysvalley 
(Posted: 05/22/08 10:12am)
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As a mother of 3 boys, wow, there is no way she can be paying attention to what the priest is doing or saying when her child is melting. If she is in the back row she should quickly remove her son, so all those around her can pay attention. So, I agree with the church - SORT OF - They should be allowed in the church as long as he is not disruptive, when he is disruptive they should step out. I hope both sides win.
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reborn |
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Posted by:
reborn
(Posted: 05/22/08 10:52am)
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I agree with you John:
It is a very difficult situation. There is nothing worse than a parent that will be so frustrated with her own personal problems she will be ready to smear her faith, church and fellow brethren. I can't Imagine what it would be like to have to take care of a child around the Clock for the rest of your life. But at least she should have tried the options her Church offered her before she took it to this level.
I truly sympathize with the parents of this autistic Child but they should not take out there frustrations on there Church that is still recovering from there big Child Molesting Scandal. I sure cant stand how the media focus on all the scandals Churches do and not on the good which they have been doing for family s, the homeless, incarcerated prisoners for hundreds of years. Not to mention the Church was the first to go to Africa to help out those people for hundreds of years before anyone else in the world even cared!
I truly cant stand the media coverage of so many stars and celebrities in Africa. They make it look like as though no one else ever cared or did anything for the Africans, LOL. It angers me to see my faith that was and still is responsible not just for its great humanitarian efforts threw out time and the world be put down by the short comings of a few. The Gospel of Jesus Christ was the seed that the founding fathers of this Nation planted over 225 years ago. If the founding fathers did not turn to the Lord to guide them as to how to build a nation were every man woman and child can be free from a ruling tyrannical king this nation would have just become another place of oppression.
Getting back to the mother of the autistic Child, I sure hope some how some way she will reconcile with her church and community. I would not be surprised if some ministries have heard of this problem and have tried to offer her help. It would be up to her to accept it or just keep causing trouble for a Church that seems to never be free of some sort of smear campaign threw the news corps.
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blessings2you |
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Posted by:
blessings2you
(Posted: 05/22/08 11:41am)
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I agree with you John and Reborn. In fact, I fail to see how the person involved has a "case". If the legal officials file a restraining order, then that should be the end of things, church or not.
I am all for compassion (as per my latest post), but I am also all for doing things decent and in order. If young children are taken out of the main service and placed in their own service for other kids their age, the same should be done here.
Schools learned this lesson long ago and provide separate learning classes for the severely handicapped. The parish should do the same for other children who I am sure have some difficulties.
B2Y
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kraftykatz |
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Posted by:
kraftykatz
(Posted: 05/22/08 11:54am)
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This is one of those difficult situations. I attend church with a family that has a child that suffers from a disease that causes him to make strange noises and movements. The family is always in the very front row. At times when the child does have a meltdown, they remove him. I have learned not to let his sudden out bursts of noise distract me from why I am attending church service.
Having been around many special children over the years some with Autism, I have seen parents that are simply not diligent in the care of these special children of God.
Even with my healthy children, any acting up in public, well shopping or at church was handled by removing the child from where we were. If that meant leaving church before service was finished that is what I did. On one occasion I even left a cart full of groceries in the store isle and left the store.
Hopefully all in this situation well find peace.
KraftyKatz
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muellerjcfreak |
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Posted by:
muellerjcfreak 
(Posted: 05/22/08 12:33pm)
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I would have to say that She should be allowed to attend MASS but, she should bring him out when he becomes a disruption, as many have already said. But I do not believe the church did anything wrong, because it IS distracting, and if it's as big of disruptions as said, then yes, it would be a big problem to the church, and believers in the church.
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kreynolds |
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Posted by:
kreynolds
(Posted: 05/22/08 1:49pm)
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The public school I teach at is also a site for one of the school district's autism program (there are several sites). I've had students that can remain in the classroom most of the time and others who can rarely be in the classroom. Although I am officially their classroom teacher, those students spend most of their time with a special education assistant, a special education autism teacher and a variety of therapists who specialize in working with autistic students. When these students have a "meltdown" having them remain in the class does not benefit anyone. It does not help the child and it does not help the other students. When a student is removed it is not because we don't care about them. These students are removed so they can regain control again. They are removed so they can learn what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Often when they are removed they are able to calm down and begin to engage in a individualized learning activity. In this sort of situation, everyone wins.
Unfortunately, in our zeal to try to mainstream everyone, we have a lot of students who need special services and can't receive them. These students are forced into overcrowded classrooms which they can't handle and can't receive the one-to-one or very small group help they need so desperately in order to succeed. You get the idea!
As much as we'd like to say everyone is capable of following the norms of society, it simply is not true. Sometimes it is simply a result of poor training and discipline. This can be corrected with instruction, time and patience. However, sometimes there are other factors involved which are much more complicated.
The church offered to provide the mother with other options so that she could attend church. I think that was very kind of them and it tells me they care about this family. The mother's reaction suggests to me that she has no regard for other people. KK mentioned that she would remove her children when they were disruptive and deal with them accordingly. I did the same with my son. Any conscientious parent would do the same. Sometimes I think we need more parents who are conscientious of how their children behave in public. If that happened, our children would be much more respectful in society as a whole.
The mother's response suggests to me that she wants to do exactly as she pleases regardless of the impact that may have on others. This to me is extremely selfish and smacks of a rebellious spirit. That is of course, my own opinion.
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happytoberestored |
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Posted by:
happytoberestored
(Posted: 05/22/08 3:53pm)
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Thank you for posting this John. And thanks for all the great comments. I agree with you all.
It's not an easy situation for any. However, the mother of the child did have options presented to her that she CHOSE not to undertake.
That's the bottom line.
h2br
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paprika89 |
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Posted by:
paprika89
(Posted: 05/22/08 4:02pm)
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John I deal with a kid like that every week. One time some new people came to church and he touch the lady and her daughters behind! His mom does nothing about it and I get mad. I know its not my place to get mad but I don't want people to stop coming to church because of him. There are 2 sides to the story. But this is just mine. I'm not saying it's right...oh no. I'm just saying that as a parent you are and they are responsible for their kids. If that kid is disable find a sitter or put them in the church nursery until the service is over. That's just my thing.
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savedbyegrace |
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Posted by:
savedbyegrace
(Posted: 05/22/08 4:33pm)
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How tragic that the mother's refusal to consider others in the church or her sense of entitlement that everyone else in the world should change to accomodate her led this situation to become so completely out of hand. I'm not saying that I do and I'm not saying I don't believe that autism could be a form of demonic possession or activity, but if it is possible, then the child would certainly benefit from being in the presence of godly people in God's house.
I grew up attending a Catholic church complete with a "cry room" , a separate room at the back of the church with the front wall being all glass to see the sanctuary and an speaker to hear the Mass.
Unfortunately, the Church has a responsibility, legal and moral, to protect everyone else attending mass from apparent danger of being assaulted by this child in uh, err, one way or another.
John, thanks for keeping us informed.
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throughfaith |
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Posted by:
throughfaith
(Posted: 05/22/08 5:43pm)
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Wow, I am a mother of an autistic child. Fortunately he is on the mild side of moderate so some of these same issues this woman faces every day aren't as big for us. I can not only imagine her struggle, I understand it personally.
What blows my mind is that this mother refused to consider the accomodations the church offered to her.
I have spent years advocating for accomodations for my child and am thrilled when someone ... anyone ... in a public place offers to work with us to find appropriate accomodations.
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bimonics |
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Posted by:
bimonics
(Posted: 05/24/08 4:51am)
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A great an informative discussion. My first thought is that the church did everything reasonable except to offer a deliverance service for the mother!
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abelajohnb |
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Posted by:
abelajohnb
(Posted: 07/02/08 11:37am)
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Hey all, got an interesting update about this news story today from a news report over at ChristianPost.Com, entitled "Judge OKs Keeping Autistic Boy Out of Church".
As I stated above, this is a HUGE liability to the church, and the church leaders MUST protect their members first-and-foremost and it seems the judge agreed with me on this!
The news article states that "the restraining order solely for the safety of its members" and that Judge Sally Ireland said in final closings, "Clearly, this is a difficult and challenging situation for all concerned."
John
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Member Biography |
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Raised in a private Christian school until his senior year, Mr. Abela has been around the Christian Faith nearly his entire life. Shortly after entering High School he became involved in researching his Native American heritage and soon found himself deeply involved in the Native American religion. Shortly before his...
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