Masks
I'm smiling tonight...i'm always smiling actually! I am known amongst my friends as being a very HAPPY, lively person. I like to smile, I like to be happy...being happy makes me feel good!
Anyway...coming back to my original point, I AM smiling. I feel like God has put somebody very special in my life. It was very important to me to make friends through college, and wow, I have met some amazing people. Possibly the most amazing people that i've met so far have been found through the CU, and i'm very suprised that they haven't all been female. I have such a hard time making male friends because I never seem to share their interests...and in the past all of my male friends (High school etc) have been incredibly scared by my Biblical views, and my lack of interest in alcohol, swearing and sex (apparently in today's society, a teenager that doesn't have a desire to go out and get drunk isn't normal). It is so important to me to have Christian friends...i've never really had that before, and the last month or so I have just been on fire for God. I've had the biggest desire ever to serve him, to worship him, to study his word... and I believe that to some extent this has come from the enthusiam that has radiated from others around me!
The last couple of weeks, I have found that there are a number of people that I can have very meaningful Christian discussions with...and this is so important to me! It's been great. I've learnt so much, and it's also encouraged me to seek answers to questions of my own.
I've learnt that to really appreciate somebody's friendship, I have to get to know them and I have to talk to them. I cannot just form opinions based on face value views. If I decided that I wouldn't get on with somebody, or I wouldn't get to know somebody just because of a first impression...then by now, even in my short time at college, I would have missed out on some great friendships.
First impressions are a little dangerous. The people that know me probably had terrible first impressions of me. People usually see the loud, bubbly, rather irritating side to me and I thank the Lord that people give me a chance! I am very guilty of wearing a mask. The confidence that I outwardly show, is not reflected on the inside. I think that my parents separation, and various other things greatly affected my character, and even now, I feel that sometimes around people I can't fully be myself, and that I need to be bubbly!
However, when people take the time to get to know me, they realise that i'm not that bad! Once I learn to trust somebody, I can completely be myself, and I don't mind opening up to them. TRUST is something else that I must pray about. I am very used to being betrayed, and therefore I find it difficult to allow people to get close to me, and I often feel guilty of pushing people away.
Anyway...there are a number of people that I have met at college that I would like to think I could become very good friends with. It is so nice to be able to talk about "normal" things and not have my religious views pushed aside by others! I really am so thankful to God for those people that don't think i'm completely weird for 1) Being a Christian 2) Wanting to be a missionary 3)Not wanting to do things just to fit in!
Thank you Lord Jesus!!!
God bless
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Author: emmalea
Location: Staffordshire United Kingdom
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Blog Entries: 19 (archive)
Blog Comments: 7
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i became a christian on 6th december 2005, after a long struggle to find the lord. being the daughter of a minister, the sister-in-law of a pastor, the sister of a youth pastor and a "pretty good teen" by most standards, i guess, to some extent, i greatly assumed my...
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