There are some issues occurring in life that of themselves appear to have no rhyme or reason. Four years on from the removal of a non-malignant brain tumour the size of a mandarin, I am faced with another situation which requires me to grasp hold of God’s hand and keep my eyes fixed on Him.
With the diagnosis of a brain tumour four years ago I made the decision that I would not fear my circumstances. Instead I went eyeball to eyeball with God, and refused to speak or hear anything that would take me away from that peace that God gave me. Through it all I gained a much deeper yet simpler understanding of God. Twenty four hours after what the neurosurgeon described as very serious surgery, I was sitting up in bed eating breakfast! The possibility of another tumour didn’t even enter my thoughts.
During my recent MRI, however, a small tumour was detected on the same site as the previous one. Given that the MRI two years ago was clear, this new tumour has developed sometime over the past two years. At the present time it is far smaller than the previous one was at the time of surgery, and it presents none of the acute pain that the first one did. I confess to being rather surprised, given that I was not aware of any symptoms. But then rather like the sin in our lives, the development of a brain tumour starts as a miniscule menace. If left unchecked, both sin and brain tumours can develop into something large enough to cause incredible pain.
Just as I experienced with the first brain tumour, I have a choice. I can choose to focus on the tumour or I can focus on God. It is impossible to do both. In my Christian life I need to do the same. The more I am eyeball to eyeball with God, the less of the world I have to deal with – or trip over! If there is one thing I am absolutely certain of, it is that my life does not depend on what is happening to my body. No! My life depends on the depth of my relationship with God!