Keep me as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings. (King James Version)- Psalm 17:8
The other day, my husband and I were visiting friends who live in Kentucky. We have not seen these friends in three years. Though they were aware of my health issues, they had not heard me tell the story in person of what happened to me on December 10, 2009. They wanted to hear the tale from my own lips.
As I recounted my experience, sharing what I remembered, my voice trembled for a moment and then I became silent for a few minutes. My friends waited patiently and then leaned forward intently listening as I resumed my story.
"I felt nothing. I know this may not make much sense but there was nothing. I became aware that there were no thoughts going through my mind. There was a silence. I mean... dead silence. I had this sense, rather than thought, that I should pray but when I tried to form words in my mind nothing happened. There was nothingness. Something within me that I did not understand was broken, disconnected, unplugged.
I felt no fear. I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Suddenly, it was as if a curtain was ripped aside and I, who was not much aware of anything, suddenly realized that it was God. Though I was unable to think, pray or communicate with God in any way, He was still there and very much aware of me.
He "stepped down" to where I was and I felt Him "breath" the words, "I am with you." over me. Nothing externally changed. I was still lying there with a broken brain. I still could not interact with the world around me. No person could reach me. I still could not "think" in the way we think of thinking. I still had no emotions and seemed to be in "nothingness" and yet I was aware that God was there... even in the nothingness... and I was safe."
Who am I that God should focus His attention intently upon me and step down to where I was laying helpless and broken? I am the apple of His eye, hidden safely in the shelter of His wings... and so are you.