John 12:25
"He who loves his life will lose it. He who hates his life in this world will keep it to eternal life" -John 12:25
That has been the verse on my head for the past couple of days. At first, it puzzled me because I thought, isn't that really too much to ask for, God?! But slowly, I realized that if I am really surrendering my whole self to God, if I am truly living for Him and his Glory, then what is the point of being so attached to these earthly things I encounter everyday?! I believe that God doesn't necessarily want me to give up on everything (ie. school, career, family etc) but I need to follow Him..in everything that I do everyday... even little things. For example, soemtimes when I am so caught up with school work, I give excuses for not attending the Bible study or prayer meetings. Looking back, it is silly that I was not willing to give away that tiny insignificant hour of study for learning more about the God that gave me life.
I guess now I am learning how to not get too attached to my life here. This is a really difficult lesson and there were times aplenty that I was on a verge of a breakdown and just wanted to cry my heart out. The process of really letting go of what is supposed to be important has taken me on a rollercoaster ride. A few times I started doubting God and that He really has the best plans for me. And because of this, I got terribly disappointed in myself..."how could you doubt the God who gave you so much?" Looking back at his blessings and his faithfulness over the years, and looking inside my doubtful heart, I felt torn apart...like following God was something way too hard for me. So many "what ifs" floated around my mind. It is just so easy to give it all up and continue living my sinful life.
In the midst of all these storms...the Spirit whispered to me,
"He didn't promise it would be easy, but He did promise that He'd be there"...
God, draw me close to you and never let me go...because you are Jesus, my King, my Lord, my Redeemer, my Shephard, my Light, my Ancient of Days, my Rock and my salvation, my shelter, my strong tower, my Beginning and my forever. you are my everything...
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Author: lostsheep
Location: Sydney Australia
Gender: Female
Age: 25
Blog Entries: 3 (archive)
Blog Comments: 0
hello! well, i am a senior in college in sydney, australia. although i grew up in the church, it was only last year when i went on student exchange to the us that i really got to form a close relationship with god. i guess he chased me to him...
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faith...
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