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Please help me, I am so depressed!





 
My name is "Ray", though actually I have changed my name here because I am so ashamed of myself and do not want anyone to know who I really am. And because this is not my real name I will feel more like opening myself up to you for help.

I’m not really sure how to say what I want to say even, and because I do not type at all I am letting a friend of mine type this for me. Everything will be in his own words, but I will be reading it over before it gets posted as a blog here on CB so that you will know that all of this is how I feel.)

I am hoping that you will share experiences of your own with me (especially if you have gone through what I’m going through) and encourage me as I try to get my life back together. I am a Christian, yes, though I’m not exactly sure what all that means. I believe I was created by God. I believe in Jesus death for me on the cross and I believe that He will come back some day.

But I do not feel that God really loves me, or that I am even worth anything to anyone. I am angry at what I have become and am very depressed, even to the point of being envious of an acquaintance who was killed in a car accident some years ago.

I am taking meds for depression, meds for anxiety, and meds to help me sleep, but I’m sick of taking these things. I sometimes feel that if I could just stop taking them altogether I would be better able to cope with life, but my doctor tells me that if I do stop taking them I would be worse off rather than better off. And I know that if I were to just try and wean myself off of them I know that I would not be able to sleep.

Speaking of sleep, I look forward to the time I get to sleep because it’s the only time I don’t actually worry about anything. I’m afraid of everything it seems and when I get out of bed I know that there are things out there that will hurt me mentally and I just as soon avoid them when I can.

I feel so alone and don’t even want to eat because there is no one to eat with. Because of my lack of decent food my physical health is not what it should be and of course that affects my mental health as well. I understand that we humans were created with 3 dimensions (so to speak): mental, physical, and spiritual.

Please help me spiritually at least, and if you can please give me something that I can use to bring my physical and mental health back to what it should be.

I read a blog today by shanijane called, an encounter with depression and I felt like she was telling my story, even down to the Devil’s fingernails digging into my back.

Like I said, I am already a Christian, but I know that I am not what I want to be, nor what God wants me to be.

Again, I am hoping that you will share experiences of your own with me (especially if you have gone through what I’m going through) and encourage me as I struggle to get my life back together.

(Please understand that because I do not own a computer I will not be able to reply right away until my friend can let me use his computer and help me with my replies. But I will read all of the comments as soon as I can.)

Can you help me, please?

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Tonya Corey(@godwarrior)

  My friend, God loves you yes he does. Before I accept I was maic drepression I was so despression that I tried to commit sucide. even thought to the rest of the world I seem fine but I was wasn't. I know how you feel but that is what the devil wants you too feel. When I accept christ I gave all my self to the lord and he took my dreppsion from. There are some veris in the bible that helped me a great deal. John 3:16 this is how you know god loves my freind. That he sent his son for you to die on the cross. 3:18 My friend god does not want you to hurt like this he loves you so much. John 15:9 know this you aer not alone. God is always with. John 4:4 I don't tell you things because I am chistain I tell you these things because I have been too. Mark 6:56 reach out to him my friend and he will heal you. Father god I ask you lift My brother Ray up Lord he knows that he died on the cross for him Father I ask that you help him as he deal with deamom that wants to hurt him Father god I know that all things are possable with you Father god I ask that heal him as you did me Lord Jesue put touch upon my broken brother and lift his spirts I ask that you heal and his heart I sk that lousen these these bondges that the devil has put on his soul In Jesues name we Pray Amen Don't worry god hears your cries and he knows you are suffering. He does love my brother with all his heart and as I do. Matthew 8:14-17 Matthew 9:20-22 always keep the fatih you willbe healed belive and it will be so.


Tonya Corey(@godwarrior)

  sorry my friend I met to say 1 John 4:4 as god loves me I aslo love. John 15:12 I want you too remmber this John 15:18 John 15:16


Alan Nethery+(@shadowalker)

  Ray,

Depression is one of the hardest demons to try to deal with, but I think you need to understand that there is no shame in what you are going through. What I do think that you need to think about dealing with are the issues that have allowed this demon in your life. You are not talking about the real issues that you are ashamed of just as you are not using your true name. I do not know if you are doing this because you don't know how to deal with them, or that you fear rejection... or both. I do know that you cannot deal with your fears or your depression until you quit trying to hide from them. Talk with your doctor, your friends, or with us, your brothers and sisters about the hurts, pains, and fears that you are dealing with... honestly and openly so that we can help.

I am not trying to be mean or cold to you about this. I hid from my pain, hurt, and fears for years. I wore masks to conceal how I really felt, and not many truly understand how insecure I truly was. I tried to hide from it through sex, drugs, and alcohol. I did everything I could to make myself feel normal, and to be accepted. When God found me... when I finally totally surrendered control of my life over to Him, I was in the process of committing suicide. -And I wasn't even doing that honestly! I was cloaking it in terms of I was doing what was best for my family, and it would be easier on them if I were no longer around. It was all a lie! -I was even lying to myself!

Clinic depression that must be controlled by drugs is nothing to be made light of. I do not believe that there is a magical pill that will heal you, but I do believe that Jesus can if you will allow him. Right now, your unbelief is what is keeping Christ from helping you. When you fall on your knees, do not cry that you are unworthy... none of us were worthy, but Christ went to the Cross for us anyway. What you need to do now, is be willing to accept that He loves you just as you are. When you fall on your knees get past that and start telling Him the hurts and fears that are in your deepest heart. Bringing them out of the darkness is the first step to healing because the sickness of sin cannot live in the Light. They feed on your shame and guilt.

We are here to listen to you, uplift you, encourage you, but most of all to pray for you in your dark hours. Talk to us, tell us your concerns, and what you need prayer for... and you can believe that we will be doing just that.

Know that even as you read this, you are being lifted up in prayer!

Emmett Alan - a past sinner without equal..


Ken Brunick(@moonray)

  At one point in the past I took too many pills trying to end my life. I was afraid of failure and now I feel like I have failed even at that (though I'm happy I did). I can't seem to get to the bottom of this depression thing though. I've tried just about everything, but not sure what the real cause is. After reading the comments above I sat down and wrote over 3 pages of junk from my past trying to understand what has happened to me. I was not always depressed of course. The way I began to think about something way back then must have been the beginning (the cause) of what I'm feeling right now, but I'm just not sure what it was. Last night I woke up three or four times and when I woke up this morning I was so tired I almost called in sick. I did go to work though, but I was very tired. At work things went from bad to worse the tireder I got. I left work very depressed again, thinking about how I have failed as a father and how my kids have never forgiven me for the garbage I've put them through. Do you suppose that this was a cover up for what I was really feeling? My friend (who is writing this for me) noticed that I ended up making several small mistakes at work (because I was so tired?) and then things seemed to spiral downward from there. Is it possible that my depression was "caused" by my feeling down about these little things? There really must be something more to it, something deeper that is really the cause though. [BTW, using the name of "Ray" was not Ray's idea, but mine (the one typing this right now). Please do not feel that Ray is hiding behind the name.]


Tonya Corey(@godwarrior)

  Ray I know what you are going threw though I have not tooken any pills in the past. But I was so depressioned at one time that my parents sent to a hosptail to get me threw it. What helps me fight is the lord As I told you I gave my self to the lord and he took it form me. But time to time I start to feel alone. I go to the mirrow at look in the mirior and isay devil come out of me I belong to the most high god and his child and not yours. He had set me free and I am no longer your slave your demons have no place here. depresson is a demon so I be been told stand strong in your faith my brother god loves you if he didn't he wouldn't have created you.


Ken Brunick(@moonray)

  My friend called me at home on Sunday to ask if he could come over and bring copies of your comments. I was not real excited about it, but I said OK. I called him back in about 30 minutes and asked him not to come over as it was "one of those days". What's happening to me? I don't feel a desire for anything, including spiritual things. There is one exception I guess, I do have a great desire to have a female friend who can accept me as I am. My wife left me for another man several years ago and I'm not sure I can ever forgive her for what she did to me. She put all my stuff on the curb outside our home and called me to to tell me to come and get the stuff. When I got there my kids were playing with the man (who would become their step-dad) in the front yard of my home and my kids stopped playing and just watched me pick up my stuff. I make Rice Krispy bars and my friend suggested that maybe I should find a couple of places I can bring them to and give them away. I might try that. I would meet new people, they hopefully would appreciate the bars and maybe even begin to like me for who I am. At least it's something to do.


Ruth Papalii(@deanna)

  Hi! Brother! Sorry I have No wisdom in this area of taking medication, but I have known People Who? do and it has helped them alot but I just want to come along and Remind You What? Jesus Christ has said that would be of very importance to You and Your life. Jesus Christ said in His Word. I have Not come to call those Who? are Well but to those Who? are sick, Jesus Christ has compassion on You who are sick He is very close to Your side and like everyone else agrees with He Loves You very much even in Your depression. Just be still! Go in your room in secret and know that He is Lord, and be at Peace Know that Jesus Christ is close to Your heart I know it is hard very hard to say this but find a way to forgive Your Wife, okay (Not Judging You) but When You forgive Your Wife things will start to happen You will Not feel depressed anymore and You will see God work in Your life tremondusly Open up Your Heart to the Lord He is very close to You Brother. Signed Your sister inChrist.



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