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Leaving people behind...

These past couple of weeks have been very interesting. A couple of weeks ago God helped me to see that I wasnt living for Him, I was living for my church. I love my church and I love what God has shown me through my church. But that had started to become a problem a couple of weeks ago. I was distracted by a certain someone and wanted to go to church just to see my friends and see him, so I decided to leave for a month. I called it my "month of solitude"..where I could have more alone time with God and find other Christian fellowship. I didnt want to be near the church people that I was soooo used to anymore..I needed something different..Everytime I was with them, I was jealous of someone or distracted with a boy and it got annoying...so I decided to get away. It has been so hard not being at my church...I miss everyone so much and its crazy. But I have been still hanging out with people from my college. My friend Marina recently asked me why this was so (she's a really good friend from church)..she said "Its weird that you can hang out with people from college still but you dont want to hang out with us"... She sounded really resentful and my other friend mo thinks that I am pushing marina away just so I wont be jealous of her relationship with M anymore...(ive often been jealous of marina and one of her friends M...they seem to be soo close and its sometimes annoying)...I dont think that I am pushing Marina away, at least I hope I am not...I love her.*sigh* I dont know what to do...I promised to myself and God that I would have a month of solitude but it seems as if i may be leaving people behind in the process...



posted: 01/30/2007 06:36am by namalia
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Author Details:

Author: namalia
Location: Albany New York USA
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Blog Entries: 10 (archive)
Blog Comments: 3

My Biography:

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My Recent Blogs:

wow its been a while......
hey you! Examine yourself...
searching...
feeling so alone...
so alone......
Vulnerability takes over...
spritually tired.....
A hearts distraction...
okay......


namalia,
Friendships can be hard at any age!
The friends I had in high school, I haven't spoken to since. Friends I've made as an adult, two in particular, I can go for months and months without seeing or talking to and it's like we just spoke yesterday.
People grow, sometimes they grow in different directions or at different times. My oldest is going through this with some of her friends right now...she's about to turn 18.
Sometimes we can look at people and think they feel one way... like, we compare their outsides to our insides. Relationships can be difficult... but there's only one relationship you really have to worry about, stay close to Him and everything else will fall into place! True friends will stay with you. Friends that are not true will fall away, and that's okay.

Your sister in Christ,
Philippiansfourseven

  Posted 01/30/2007 12:01pm
Author: philippiansfourseven

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