Hi at first I felt guilty writing this as I know it's nothing compared to what some of you guys have been through. That said though I want Jesus to be glorified in our family, in the little things as well as the major crisis issues, and maybe nipping this one in the bud early in our marriage is going to prevent things escalating to something more serious.
Well I have a lovely husband. He's so patient and sensitive. He is a great listener and generous with his time. We've been married 4 years and are expecting our first child soon. I'm thankful for so much the Lord has given us. We're both in ministry part time at our local church, and God is blessing us in what we're doing.
I'm just struggling so much that he doesn't buy me gifts on special occasions. Like two weeks ago it was our anniversary. When he saw the card, flowers and presents I had prepared for him, he said "Oh I feel guilty I haven't got you anything. I'll buy you something later...". Well, 'later' is now more than two weeks later, and no sign of anything.
On my last birthday, he wrote me an 'IOU' note for some software I wanted. That was 10 months ago, and nothing.
I want to put this in perspective, as he is such a lovely man, and my life is so much better to be with him. I'm so grateful that he's with me, and he's my best friend. He's a Christian, and we share our deepest prayer requests together. I'm quite happy to keep giving and giving to him even though he doesn't reciprocate, because I'm so happy with how he treats me day to day. I know that's far more important than remembering my birthday or our anniversary.
But when he doesn't prepare for my birthdays, Christmas, and anniversary, it makes me feel lonely and undervalued, and that he's just relaxed into our relationship so much that he doesn't feel any pressure to prepare for our special days.
I wish that just once he would put some effort into buying me a gift that would show that he really does treasure me as a woman. I know he does, but as a woman sometimes I need to see actions and not just sweet words.
Help! What can I do? I want to deal with my emotions positively and constructively, without letting myself becoming bitter.