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John 3:20
Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
I fell upon this verse as I was praying and searching for Jesus' words. I was desperate; because I needed to know right there and then that I was loved and that there was still hope to continue my relationship with him. It just seems that I have traveled so far away from Him. I keep beating myself up about things without bringing any of them to His attention. So I grabbed a piece of paper and pen and decided to write down the evils that keep me from submitting myself completely to Him.
1) Selfishness- I think about myself.
For instance, I sometimes trick my mind into thinking that praying isn't valuable right now because I could spend it getting work done or getting my solid 8 hours of sleep. But aren't those just pathetic, worldly excuses? This life is not all about me (which I am extremely aware of) but with that said, then why can't I get over myself?
2) Lack of Confidence- I want to be the strong confident woman that the Lord desires me to be. I get so much of my worth from how my fiance makes me feel. Is he really into me or is it just a typical, ordinary day? I heard a saying recently that said: A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man must seek Him in order to find her. I think that is beautiful and more importantly: TRUE. Somehow, someway, I need to find my beauty in Christ. I need to fall back in love with Him. The way I see it, that is the only place that I can gain confidence and not have it rely on the mood of my loved ones. Why would I let myself go through those daily ups and downs?
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