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There is no middle ground, we must make the choice, faith or fear!

Author:   
Divorce
terry





 
I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I guess to vent. I was married for 12 years. We have 3 boys. My wife went to alternative life style and is currently living with another woman. I divorced her in 2002 for this reason. I have residential custody of the boys. Not sure that really means anything. They stay with me most of the time. We have been doing very well. My mother helps me with the boys during the week. I could not have made it without my parents.
I really have a problem with divorce. I know that God hates divorce and I do too. When I meet other people who have been divorced, I'm very judgmental. Most of the divorce cases that I hear about are trivial. In my opinion, divorce should only be an option in extreme cases. Not just because you stopped loving him/her and find someone else. In my case, I'm the one that was left feeling unwanted. I just have to believe that all things work for good for those who are in Christ. My wife wanted us to live together for the boys sake. She would do her thing and I would do mine. I could not live like that and felt that if I did, it would show the boys that I accepted her life style.
I believe that Satan is destroying the Church by splitting families. Please Pray for my family and all those other Christian families who are contemplating divorce.
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Andrea Lynn(@allforhim)

  My heart cries out to you for your situation. God does indeed hate divorce and I am a product of it myself. My dad has been married 4 times and I, myself was divorced prior to becoming a Christian. Divorce hurts, it destroys the family and you are ever so right, satan has had a field day destroying the family, because the family is what brings in the next generation and we are to have a godly heritage, which is destroyed by divorce. I would be careful standing in judgment of others, I agree divorce has become way too common in the church, and it should not be, but we have to reach the wounded with compassion not condemanation, for there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus. I think we all need to stand together in unity and pray for the family and wage in spiritual warfare against him who is destroying the family. We need to wrap the wounded with His arms so they may receive healing in their souls. I pray the Lord's healing on your family and that you can use this to give God glory, for thou He hates divorce, He loves His children. I know, I struggled with the shame of my divorce for many years even though it happened before Christ and He has healed this area of my life, because it has been washed by the blood, along with all my other sins. Thanks be to God! Welcome to CB! Blessings! Andrea


Erica Vega-Delgado(@paprika89)

  I'm so sorry. I don't know what you feel, but I can pray for you. Read my "I don't get it blog" A couple days ago I was crying about how horrible men are...but your blog and story has change that perspective. Thank you:) I know you don't know me but I just have to say, God says HOLD ON, I'M WORKING. And I know God is working with you. I was once told that God will never waste your pain. He will always mend you and build you. Look at Jeremy Camp. God used him after his pain and lost after losing his wife to cancer. He's now the biggest inspiring artist out there today. God can use you in that way. It hurts and the only thing thats probably on your mind is "why" Just ask for God's will and he'll reveal it. I don't think God would ever want you to live a life without him being number one. Or for you to sit around with your head down remorsing about the past. It hurts I can Almost feel it. I know what do I know I'm 18. But God is always ready to fix it and not only fix it but to take the load you carry. God bless:)


Terry Fitch(@terry)

  Thanks everyone for your Prayers. My concern is for the boys. One of them in particular is having trouble coping with this situation. It is hard for them to understand. I have always wanted the best for them. Our pastor told me that God loves the boys more than I do. He will take care of them. Ten years from now, I don't want to look back and wish that I had done this or that for them. I have to put them in God's hands. My oldest son (15) hardly ever has anything to do with his mom. He stays with me all the time. He is deeply involved in our church. I see him Praying and reading the Bible a lot. I know that he hurts though. My middle son (13) is really having the most trouble. His mother has fought me tooth and nail for full custody of him. She has given him just about anything he wants. He his not easily disiplined. My youngest son (11) is tender hearted. He loves his mother and I and tries his best to please both of us. They were raised in church there whole life. There mother and I helped teach youth program while they were younger. Divorce is not good. Anyone thinking it would be better to divorce needs to think about the consequences not only on your life but others in your family. As I mentioned in previous message, I don't know why I'm putting all this out there. I think it helps to vent some times. Thanks again for everyone's Prayers. Terry


T Sia+(@doulos)

  Dear Terry,

I hear you and I understand because I am "single-again" too (I like that label ...lol) And while God may hate divorce, He loves divorcees :)

Sometimes, we unconsciously condemn the sinner along with the sin and I really don't think it should be so. I always remember the often preached story of Jesus with the Samaritan woman by the well (John 4). Jesus did not condemned her nor was he even judgmental towards her. I think He treated her with gentleness and love. If Jesus can do that then so should we towards others regardless of their sin. Isn't that how we show the love of Jesus to others?

And if people do come to you with condemnation, you don't have to receive it. With humble hearts we accept and receive correction but I don't think we should allow condemnation from man to settle into our hearts. Sure, there'll be people who will try to do that... I'd just ignore them; privately rebuke the word curses in the name of Jesus; and promptly forgive them... Our tongues should be used to bless and speak life...

I will be praying along with you... Take care and God bless



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