I do not know what to do anymore
Ever since I was a little girl, I've always known that my passion is music. I love to sing, play the piano, and am hoping to get into guitar. I also love listening to music. Especially rock 'n' roll. I've been raised in a Christian family all my life and have always gone to church - but I never believed. When I starting getting into rock 'n' roll (which was about a year an a half ago), I started getting morally and spiritually worse and worse. One day, I was tired of living in sin and corruption, so I got saved (which was yesterday!), and I have never been so happy before. I'm still addicted to rock 'n' roll, even though I know that it's ruining me. When I first got saved, I was so happy and on fire for God, untill I started listening to my iPod. Ever since then I have felt terrible, like there's still something that needs to be gotten rid of in my life for it to be complete. I prayed and read the Bible, and I could only think of my music. At 5 o' clock in the morning, I woke up being miserable, so I prayed about it. Suddenly a voice spoke to me "Get rid of ALL of your music... get rid of ALL of your music" four times. I said "Why?" the voice replied, "It's harming you more than you think.". "Who are you?" "I am Jesus Christ." "Am I imagining this?" "No, you are not imagining this." I thought and thought about it, and I asked myself "When do I have to get rid of it?" the voice said, "Tomorrow". Which is today. I still am trying to make the decision. I have butterflies in my stomach and my knees are shaking. The day is almost done, and I still do not know what I'm going to do. Give up my passion and follow Jesus? It's an extremely hard thing, considering that I got saved only yesterday.
Think of the thing in this world that you love the most. You might not know your passion yet, but if you do, imagine having to give that up. Your comfort, your happiness, your friend... your life. Gone. After I prayed, I feel so much stronger. Like I might actually be able to do it. But then, after I watched a Led Zeppelin video, I asked myself "How can I live without this?" Sounds silly, but it's no game. And deep in my heart I know that after today, there's no turning back. I know that it will affect my life (and eternity)forever. I am still saved, and there is nothing in this world that can take that away from me. But my life won't be what God has planned it for me. It will be a lot worse. I won't be living my best for God, even though He died on the cross for me. But unless you've ever had a strong addiction, you have no idea what I'm having to face right now.
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Author: thelatesandthegreatest
Location: Thomasville North Carolina USA
Gender: Male
Age: 18
Blog Entries: 3 (archive)
Blog Comments: 0
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