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I get out of school today thinking I had made it through most of the day without incident. Get home, throw down the book bag, sit down to check email and my soon to be ex-husband tells me how proud he is that I am going back to school, tells me I look nice and I keep waiting for the hatchet to fall, which it does and the words I hear next dumbfound me. He wants to move in with another woman. I felt color rush from my face, I felt sick, I felt my heart sink but most of all, I felt so much anger that I scared myself. I had to bite my tongue because I knew if I did not, all kinds of venom would spew forth and it would only cause him to be angry and me to feel worse. So I simply said "it's really sad that I no longer know you after 11 years" and sat down to finish checking my mail, then grabbed my bible because I KNEW I needed God to heal this like only HE can!
So, I search for anything to help me through this anger and this is what God showed me.
OT
~Psalm
In your anger do not sin. (4:4)
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath. (37:8)
~Proverbs
A quick-tempered man does foolish things. (14:17)
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (15:1)
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. (15:18)
A violent man entices his neighbor and leads him down a path that is not good. (16:29)
A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again. (19:19)
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. (22:24-25)
Wise men turn away anger. (29:8)
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control. (29:11)
An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins. (29:22)
For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.
(30:33)
~Ecclesiastes
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. (7:9)
NT
~Matthew
But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother "Raca," is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, "You fool!" will be in danger of the fire of hell. (5:22)
~Ephesians
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)
~ I Timothy
I want men everywhere to lift up holy hands in prayer, without anger or disputing. (2:8)
~ Hebrews
Make every effort to live in peace with all men. (12:14)
~ James
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (1:19-20)
But the one that got my attention the most
~Matthew 6:14-15
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (14-15)
I have started to breathe again because I know now what I must do. I must forgive my husband. In doing so, I keep my relationship in check with WHO matters the most AND HE keeps my anger in check, not to mention the hurt, frustration, feelings of betrayal and numerous other feelings that seem to explode from within.
I get giddy like a school girl when God gives me a lesson. Even if I have heard it a hundred times over the years, sometimes it takes me some time to 'get it'. I'm always thankful, because I could never get through this, or any other thing in this life, without Him!
Heavenly Father
Please help me to focus on what YOU have in store for my life. Please examine my heart and anything that is not in it for you, please remove it. I confess my sins and my anger towards others and ask that you forgive my human heart. Help me speak words that are only pleasing to YOU. Your restoration in my life is truly what I need.
Thank you Lord for redeeming me in this battle that is our earthly life. Help me to live righteously and obedient to your ways. Thank you for quenching my anger with your perfect peace.
In Jesus name
Amen
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