"Why, Lord, did you put this person in my life?"
"I didn't put him in your life ... I put you in his life."
I was pondering out loud the other day about someone in my life and I said to my husband "Why did God put this person in my life?" And my husband said, "Well why don't you ask God that?" So I did ... expecting to get an answer about what this person's purpose was in my life and to maybe get a better understanding of where I'm supposed to go with it and how long I need to stick with it because this person in my life is ... not a reward right now.
Instead, I heard it was the opposite.
It left me speechless. What could I say on finding that my logic was backwards to what God intended? I actually laughed at myself.
Here I am struggling with what to do, thinking that I knew the intent and purpose of our Lord in this situation, only to find I missed the point.
How often do we find ourselves going along our way thinking we understand and know exactly what it is that God wants us to do and struggling to get to that point ... on our own, I might add ... only to find that we are running down the wrong path? In my world, too often I'm beginning to think.
I am a passionate person. When I do something, I do it right or not at all. When something needs done, I don't quit until it's accomplished. I'm just driven that way. The things I do matter to me so I put all my energy and passion into them. If I make cookies, I want them to be the best cookies my kids ever ate. If I make a roast and it doesn't turn out right, I ruminate on how I need to do it differently the next time. When I play a game, I play to win. When I go to my doctor's office, I google what I want to talk to him about before hand so that I don't waste his time and can have a meaningful conversation.
But the problem is ... I do that with God too. I see something that needs done and I take off down the path running full steam ahead and run smack into a great big ditch in the road or a massive boulder that can't be moved and instead of stopping to ask God if I'm doing the right thing or even on the right path, I start building bridges to get over the ditch or creating explosives to remove the boulder.
So, I'm just being passionate about what I'm doing. What's wrong with that? I believe what I believe and I will fight for it, if need be. What's so bad about that? Isn't that what the Bible tells us to do? Aren't we supposed to put on our armour and fight for the Lord? Aren't we supposed to stand firm?
The thing is ... what are we standing firm for, what are we fighting for?
Christ didn't come to bring passion into this world, He came to bring compassion. Too often I'm afraid, I miss that. Too often I get caught up in the passion and forget to show compassion. Too often I want to fix the problem before I even understand and see clearly what the problem really is. Too often I forget that there are people on the path with me.
Three days later, I am still speechless to find that God didn't put this person in my life for a purpose but that God put me in his life for a purpose. I am humbled to realize it. And I pray that I haven't run so far that the Lord can't move me to the right path once again.