Oh God, Father, Abba,
I don't get it, Dad. I don't get what you're trying to show me.
I don't understand why?
I never thought, if I followed you, that my life would be so painful and hard.
You promised me you would always be with me, you would always protect me, you would always take care of me.
You promised me I would never have to worry about anything because you would take care of everything.
So I don't get it.
Do I not love you enough?
Am I not good enough for you?
I just don't get it any more.
Can't you see how depressed I am?
Can't you feel how sad I feel?
Can't you see how many tears I've cried?
All I ever wanted to do was to serve you, to show others the love that you have for them ... for everyone.
And yet, at every turn all I meet is a wall, a smack in the face, a harsh word, another struggle, another pain.
Where is the good?
Where are the people who love one another?
Where are you?