May 2013
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Usersname: shadowalker +
Points: green pen (1867) (?)
I am married
I am a male
I am 56 years old.
My birthday is: December 8th.
I live in Hartselle Alabama USA
I am a fifty-six year old man, who has been a Christian for over twenty years. Soon after surrendering my life to Christ, I was incarcerated - at this point, I could say for a crime I did not commit, but the fact is that while I might not have been guilty of the crime I had went to prison for, I had been guilty of many others. I spend most of my youth thinking that the Christian values I had been taught as a boy were outdated, and did not reflect accurate answers for today's world. Each small step I took away from the spiritual and moral values that my Mother had taught me, took me further down the path of sin into the shadows and eventually into the darkness. That is why today, I proudly claim the name of a Shadow Walker because it was in darkness sin that Jesus found me, and it is in the edges of that darkness - the shadows - that I proudly witness to all the miracles that God has worked in my life in the hopes (and with prayer) that another soul who yearns to accept Christ, but has not because of his or her shame may see Jesus shining a light from inside me that gives them the strength to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Through the years the Lord has blessed me with the opportunity to witness many times in His name, sometimes in person, sometimes through a letter, newsletter, and sometimes even through poetry. I do not claim to be anymore than an occasional outlet for His Voice, but I am glad that He is able to use such a scarred vessel as me as much as He has.
Everyone's calling is to proclaim the Good News, and to be a witness what Christ has done for them. -Part of the purpose for our Witness, and our Walk, is also to uplift and encourage our Brethren. I pray that some of you, my brothers and sisters, get some insight, enlightenment, or encouragement from some of the insights that God has given to help me.
In God's Service,
Alan
In 1992, my life was in a terrible state. I just could not figure out what I was doing wrong. I worked long hours trying to support my family, but there never seem to be enough money and I never seem to do anything to make my wife happy.
I loved my children, but I never seem to get as much time with them as I wanted. I was an OTR trucker and worked hard to try to get home as often as I could, but it seemed when I got home often the bills didn't get paid.
By 1991, My marriage of 11 years was falling apart. She cheated on me, so I cheated on her - I was taking drugs to stay awake (to drive longer to make more money) which had the side-effect of making me more short-tempered and irritable. Then in 1992 I caught her with a man in my home. I got violent with her boyfriend which esculated from fists to weapons. It was a miracle in itself that no one was killed, but afterwards I kicked my wife out saying I wasn't going to have my children raised by a promiscious woman. -To make a long story short, during a very messy divorce, my wife accused me of abusing my oldest daughter. Unfortunately after having said it, she found the state was not going to let her unsay it. Finding out I was losing my business, my wife and family, and probably going to prison, I was at the lowest point in my life.
I was having nightmares of my family living in a refrigerator box, and I just knew they could not make it without my paycheck. I remembered my life insurance policy and I decided that if I had an "accident" then my family could survive off that money until my wife coud remarry. -But God had other plans, standing there in the woods about to kill myself, I turned control of my family over to Him, and almost as an after thought, myself. I felt a warm flush rush through me, and when it left, it let the Holy Spirit in my heart. -I still went to prison, but I have lived for Him since that day.
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