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Category: Humor You have viewing the Humor category! We invite you to join our website or login if you are already a member! Ramblings of an overly middle-aged woman Posted by:  kiwibird   (Posted: 11/17/08 3:04pm) The following ramblings are the result of an all night session at the computer as my daughter dictated her final (Yay!) essay for her degree. Ordinarily such a work would be dealt to in a relatively short space of time but given her backlog of work caused by her ill-health, I found myself waiting for hours while she ‘wrote the next bit'. Don't get me wrong, I make myself available for this task at any time the need arises, but I was very grateful for the ‘nanna nap' I had in the afternoon. Crawling into bed at 4.45am this morning seemed a bit pointless really. I think it was the cups of tea that did it, so instead of sleeping my mind is full of drivel and I thought I should type some out for a blog. What is this typing thing any way. I learned to type on a typewriter but have been forced into a new age where electronics control so much of what I do. I used to be able to pop the carbon paper between the sheets of paper and get the number of copies I wanted. In fact, on a really good day when my... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 5 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by blessings2you)  - Total Views: 61 Clapping in Church is not for the Faint of Heart! Posted by:  cowgirldiva   (Posted: 11/16/08 4:23pm) Have you ever stood in church clapping away to a song when suddenly the person next to you starts clapping off beat? Isn't that just the worst? It's so hard not to turn to them and say, "Do you mind?" I had one of those incidents in church today... only the person who was clapping off beat was my grandma. The words came up on the screen and I was singing away, clapping, and swaying to the music when I hear a "swap" of the congregation and a "swchoop" next to me on the down beat of the song. I look over at my grandma and she's totally absorbed in the music, clapping vehemently. I look over at my mom and we try very hard not to burst out laughing because my grandma is partially deaf and can't even hear when everyone else is clapping anyway. Then I think what it would be like to be totally oblivious to the world and not care about what people think. I often fall prey to the world's opinion of how I should act or even talk and try to fight it with every step I take towards Christ. I ask for help... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 3 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by youaregolden)  - Total Views: 49 Biblical Funs and Puns Posted by:  thomashsi   (Posted: 11/14/08 12:00am) Question: Which would earn the Lord a greater return on a coin deposited into the collection? The coin given to him with Caesar's inscription, or the coin from the fish's mouth? Answer: The coin from the fish's mouth, because unlike the coin with Caesar's inscription which was given to him by men, the coin from the fish's mouth was placed there by God's providence and, therefore, was a coin of destiny. Question: Between Mary and Martha, Mary being the sister who sat at the Lord's feet, and Martha being the sister who diligently served the Lord, who would make a better cup of tea? Answer: Mary, because unlike Martha whose mind was preoccupied with many chores, Mary knew how to draw from the well. On their wedding day, Ruth hoping to impress Boaz, said to him, "husband, I have forgotten two things today." Boaz said, "what are they?" Ruth told him, "my driver's license and my blood test." Boaz replied, "why your blood test?" Ruth then answered, "to show you that I'm from a royal family." Question: What did the Lord tell the Samaritan woman at the well that changed her life? Answer: He spoke of a well of living... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 0 Comments  - Total Views: 6 Today B2Y beat MRI in major upset Posted by:  blessings2you   (Posted: 11/13/08 6:38pm) I had to endure my personal definition of hell today. After wimping out twice before this week, I simply HAD to get an MRI done of my back. Now, for most people, this would be a simple medical test that is noisy but done and over within an hour. For people like me, it is paramount to being told one has to go live in a coffin for six months. I have two huge problems, neither one of which I am proud of. First of all I am NOT a small person by any stretch of the imagination. There are a couple of people around on earth bigger than I am, but one is in Samoa and the other in Fiji. I haven't met either of them. Being on the "husky" side, I have some problems with certain tests due to the machines being made for people like my wife who literally wears a size 4 pair of pants. Anyway, back to my sob story; my other problem is that I am claustrophobic. I am not so bad that I can't ride in elevators or things like that, but I have problems with being shoved into a tube like a... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 8 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by annajones)  - Total Views: 101 Grace to Write Clearly and Laugh When We Don't Posted by:  savedbyegrace   (Posted: 10/29/08 12:54pm) My home-based business involves a lot of typing, proofreading and editing, so I always get a large charge out of the way things come out of our mouths and aren't exactly what we meant them to be. I know we've all seen funny mistakes in church bulletins, and Jay Leno does a whole bit on Monday nights called "Headlines" where the headlines of major newspapers don't exactly say things clearly. These are actual excerpts from insurance claim forms, where the person making the claim is trying valiantly to explain how their accident occurred. Enjoy! • "In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole!" • "Coming home, I drove into the wrong driveway and hit a tree I don't have." • "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him." • "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment." • "I was on the way to the doctor's office with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to having an accident." • "I had been driving my car for 40 years when I... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 2 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by kiwibird)  - Total Views: 81 Minnesota's Ten Commandments Ya Sure You Betcha Posted by:  cowgirldiva   (Posted: 10/28/08 1:53pm) Here's a little Minnesota humor and if you don't understand this or don't find it funny.... well I'll be praying for you ya sure I will... Minnesota's Ten Commandments 1. Der's only one God, ya know. - Minnesotan twang 2. Don't make the fish on your mantle an idol. - Minnesotan's are big ice fishers year round and stuff it to show each other how big the fish is. 3. Cussing ain't Minnesota nice. - People say Minnesotan's are Minnesota nice because they don't say mean things to each other only behind their back... not sure exactly... 4. Go to church even when you're up nort. - "Up Nort" is the cabin. 5. Honor your folks. - We say it like fooooolks. 6. Don't kill. Catch and release. - Catch and release is a fishing action 7. There is only one Lena for every Ole. No cheatin'. - EVERYONE back in the old days it seemed were either named Lena (girls name) or Ole (boys name). 8. If it ain't your Lutefisk, don't take it. - Lutefisk is a popular Northern dish. 9. Don't be braggin' about how much snow ya shoveled. - We get snow up nort in November...... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 12 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by cowgirldiva)  - Total Views: 273 Fearlessness 101 Posted by:  wordlion   (Posted: 10/13/08 6:52pm) Fearlessness 101 Suddenly my 3year old grandson burst into my office breathing hard, with a look of terror on his face. "Pawpaw, sumpings not right." Shane had been in our master bedroom watching cartoons while lying on our bed. He went on while flailing his hands in the air, "I'm telling you sumpings not right in there." I asked, "Did you see something?" "No Pawpaw." He tried to explain with a puzzled look on his face. "Did you hear something?" Yeah, yeah" as he pointed to the bedroom. "It was going, chick, chick, chick, chick." I said, "Let's go see what it is". We hurried to the bedroom where the TV continued to play. Shane didn't seem afraid now. Pointing to our closet doors Shane said, "Its right over there". I turned the TV off. "Where?" "Right over here", as he walked toward the mirrored doors. Then he said, "Come on, talk to me now" "Come on", as he took both his hand and pushed the 4 panel glass doors that were already shut. I said, "I don't hear anything". "Jus a minute Pawpaw" as Shane got more aggressive with the doors. "Come on! Chick, Chick, Chick to me now",... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 1 Comment (by betweenhispaws)  - Total Views: 48 Utterly Worthless Information and Quiz for your weekend Posted by:  blessings2you   (Posted: 10/04/08 3:48am) In order to provide proper relief from the pressures put on us through various economic measures; I thought it good to "bless" you with a little quiz to test how much worthless knowledge you have. There is nothing "spiritual" about this little quiz. It is simply for fun and to relax tension. Each question is worth ten points, but that doesn't mean much since just like in the old television show "Who's line is it", the points don't mean anything. My best guess is that if anyone who gets more than one right has WAY too much time on their hands and should apply to be a contestant on "Jeopardy". 1. How many ways are there to make change for a dollar? a. 27 b. 293 c. 398 2. What do the words; orange, silver and purple have in common? 3. True or False: Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur. 4. What is the average lifespan of a dragonfly? a. 1 hour b. 8 hours c. 24 hours d. 3 days 5. A dime has how many ridges around its edge? a. 118 b. 188 c. 256 The next question is worth 1,000 bonus points and anyone who... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 2 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by everfaithful)  - Total Views: 149 What an entertaining weekend! Posted by:  livelaughlove   (Posted: 09/29/08 1:11pm) So I am a senior nursing student at Georgia Southern University who leads a very busy life. This weekend was one that I had been looking forward to for a month or so. My out of town boyfriend was coming to visit and I had in my mind that it was going to be a weekend of playing frisbee, rock climbing, and a romantic dinner out... well that was sort of correct. I am currently doing my clinicals for school and I had gotten home from clinical on Friday and after being up and working since 4 that morning I thought a nap was in my near future. No sooner had I fallen asleep did the smoke alarm in my apartment begin to go off. I ran down the stairs to find my roomate standing in the kitchen staring at a fire on the stove that was HUGE!!! I ran over and tried to put a lid on the fire to smother it. At this point smoke was billowing throughout my apartment and it was becoming difficult to breathe. I was finally able to get the fire out only to learn that the microwave was a large burnt plastic bubble... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 0 Comments  - Total Views: 25 "Uh...Hello? I forgive you already!!" Posted by:  laminin   (Posted: 09/27/08 2:30am) One of the most beautiful qualities God has is His wonderful sense of humour! While attending marriage counselling before our wedding our Pastor told us a story of his best friend who was saved a few years back. This friend had a past that he was a bit ashamed of, as we all are I guess. But every single day he would go down on his knees and repent for the same old sins over and over again. My Pastor had told him that God forgives our sins once and we don't have to ask Him everyday for forgiveness for a sin He has already forgiven. However, he carried on waking up everyday begging for forgiveness for the same old sin. Eventually one day God interrupted him by saying, "Oh John, stop it! I forgave those sins long ago! This is getting tiresome now." He just burst out laughing! He did not have to be told twice by God to stop begging!... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 5 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by laminin)  - Total Views: 123 Updates on the Money Tree Growing in Washington Posted by:  blessings2you   (Posted: 09/20/08 2:15pm) Earlier this week this obscure headline appeared for a short time on this site. Now finally there is vital new information to add to our elation at this amazing discovery. UNITED STATES TREASURY SUCCEEDS IN GROWING THE WORLD'S FIRST MONEY TREE The United States Treasury Department has finally succeeded in growing their first money tree. Deep in a top secret room of the Department's headquarters, top economists working with scientists have grown the tree which will be the panacea to all that ails this country and world. Word out of Sweden is that those involved with the research will surely win the Nobel Prize next year. Background: For many years, governments have been searching for the secret to growing the elusive money tree which would solve their problems. Various attempts were made in the past to grow such a tree, but they were met with frustration as they failed to ever produce one dollar. Scientists and economists in Washington looked with envy on many other countries in the world and their successful money tree ventures. Word has it that many of the top people working on this project took a trip to Zimbabwe last winter to learn the secret of... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 7 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by blessings2you)  - Total Views: 180 Bereans-Burrito Posted by:  songsinmyheart   (Posted: 09/19/08 8:11pm) When we were having family devotions one day, my husband chose the book of Acts and wanted to impress upon our children the hard faithful lives of the Bereans. He asked, "Who knows what the Bereans were known for?" My bubbly, energetic little 8 year old (at that time) could hardly sit in his chair as he waved his hand about saying, "I know! I know!" We were astounded this little guy would know that answer and had actually expected one of our teens to answer this one. Envisioning an answer something like, "Weren't they known for studying the scriptures daily?" Our little guys squeals out, unable to contain himself any longer...."They were known for inventing the burrito!" Hmmmm. Berean-burrito. I guess in the mind of an 8 year old, they do sound an awful lot alike! Smiles around the table from the older ones who knew better and we all tried not to laugh out loud!...But it was hard!... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 0 Comments  - Total Views: 33 Government Finally Grows the Elusive Money Tree Posted by:  blessings2you   (Posted: 09/16/08 11:17pm) UNITED STATES TREASURY SUCCEEDS IN GROWING FIRST MONEY TREE The United States Treasury Department has finally succeeded in growing their first money tree. Deep in a top secret room of the Department's headquarters, top economists working with scientists have grown the tree which will be the panacea to all that ails this country and world. Word out of Sweden is that those involved with the research will surely win the Nobel Prize next year. Background: For many years, governments have been searching for the secret to growing the elusive money tree which would solve their problems. Various attempts were made in the past to grow such a tree, but they were met with frustration as they failed to ever produce one dollar. Scientists and economists in Washington looked with envy on many other countries in the world and their successful money tree ventures. Word has it that many of the top people working on this project took a trip to Zimbabwe last winter to learn the secret of the perpetual money tree that country developed. The Need for the Tree There is no questioning why there needs to be a money tree in Washington. There is simply no other way... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 1 Comment (by ptl2008)  - Total Views: 100 A Little Humor at my Expense Posted by:  cowgirldiva   (Posted: 09/13/08 6:38pm) So today my Mom, Grandma, and I were all going to see a play at the Guthrie theater called "Little House on the Prairie." I was totally stoked because I'm a Laura Ingalls nut I even bought a dress for the occasion and you all know I strongly dislike dresses. But anyways.... so I got up, ate two pieces of toast, and hopped in the shower. Then I did my makeup and hair and then asked the stranger in the mirror, "How'd I do that?" My hair was actually cute!! But I digress... So after my dress was all perfect with the little jacket on top, I looked at the clock and I realized I was an hour early. Oh well. I reached down to scratch my leg and noticed I forgot to shave a huge chunk of my leg. This frequently happens but today of all days? Really... So I began looking for more and there were others around my ankle and knee and a huge rash-like cut on the knee cap. Oh wow... Well... there was nothing I could do about it so I just left my half-shaved legs as they were. So by now my arm pits... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 4 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by hockeychick4christ)  - Total Views: 129 20 Things You Probably Don't Know About Me Posted by:  cowgirldiva   (Posted: 09/09/08 2:41pm) Wow.... that title seems extremely selfish.... oh well... So here goes nothin'.... 20) My favorite TV show is Reba but it's no longer on anymore 19) I hog the computer... it's true... I'm extremly possessive.... 18) I have wanted to become: a teacher, a doctor, a paralegal, a writer, a doctor, a physical therapist, a doctor, a librarian, a history professor, a vet, a doctor, a teacher... the list is endless.... 17) My new favorite band is The Fray and I absolutey do not like heavy metal 16) I love to write but don't do it as often as much as I'd like. 15) I live in the country and love it 14) My favorite season is fall because it's not to hot and not too cool and the leaves are changing.... 15) I'm an awful cook but I love to bake, especially pies Go figure.... 14) I have been labled as: gullible, naive, gulllible, gullible, and... geez... I'm missing one... oh yes! gullible.... 13) I have a unique fetish for old-english words such as fetish, miffed, vexed... 12) I absolutely do not like chick flicks 11) I believe that women should be treated with respect 10) I have cowgirl... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 10 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by grandmabruce1955)  - Total Views: 280 take your fingers out of the cassette player Posted by:  bethy   (Posted: 09/01/08 2:21pm) My car is not the most sporty of models,therefore instead of a CD player i have to make do with a cassette player, unfortunately i have only got a few tapes that still play. So anyway i was going to work this morning (the first time in two months after holidays and feeling a little low so i put on my worship tape . Or i tried to put it on. My daughter had the car before me and my tape would not play. If anyone has been reading one of my previous blogs you will know that I have had issues with lifting my hands in worship.. This would have been the perfect opportunity to practice. Anyway the tape would not play so i pushed the fast foward button-still no joy. I pushed the eject button and no tape appeared. Okay at this point a normal person would have realised that there was no cassette in the player. But not Beth. What do i do? I decide to check if the tape is in the player. So driving in heavy traffic during rush hour and not half awake I proceed to stick my fingers into the player. They got... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 8 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by petra70)  - Total Views: 276 Another Summer and Another War Lost Posted by:  blessings2you   (Posted: 09/01/08 3:30am) In order to give my mind a break from thinking about, praying for and watching the approaching hurricane; I wrote this lighthearted piece. Not to take away from the critical situation going on (which is not as bad as was feared), I offer this vital information on squash bugs as a brief respite from the real pressures of life. This evening I prepared a meal made from produce out of what is left of my garden. We ate some small ears of corn, tomatoes and my favorite-patty pan squash. In one sense I was very thankful to even have a garden what with the wet weather we had this year, but in another sense I was sad for the garden is about over now (a few tomatoes and lima beans are all that are left). Every year I wage warfare with the dreaded squash bugs. Every year they win. Long ago I used to dump whole bags of Sevin dust on the plants trying to kill the bugs. Somehow two lived and turned into two hundred. I have been fighting squash bugs for twenty years in four different houses. It is amazing how they track down my squash, no matter... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 5 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by debaug1)  - Total Views: 247 God and Starbucks Posted by:  purposedrivenlamb   (Posted: 08/29/08 2:12pm) A very short story about God & Starbucks By one of his flock [A special qualifier from the author: I do not profess to be God, nor my wife Jesus, nor my ex-wife the Holy Spirit, nor Starbucks the gift of salvation, nor Abby fallen humanity. We're all just talented actors.] So I'm a Dad who desperately loves my 14-year old daughter, Abby. I say "desperately" because sometimes it seems just that, desperate. You see, her mother and I divorced a while back and the kids suffered. Divorce is never without pain. Fact is, 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population, which has nothing to do with this story, just makes for an interesting fact. Abby, like most children of divorced parents, would have greatly preferred things if her world would not have been turned upside down, resulting in sadness, bitterness, anger, confusion, and a visitation suitcase. Abby needed some coffee. Being high quality parents yearning to overcompensate for pain caused, we introduced Abby to life's finest Pacific pacifier, Starbucks. Because bigger is Vente (and sounds really cool), Abby quickly became a Starbucks ordering local legend throwing around Mocha Caramel Macchiato here and Expresso Con Panna... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 1 Comment (by heavenlynews)  - Total Views: 73 Excuse me Jesus, there's a rabbit at your feet! Posted by:  blackrose65   (Posted: 08/29/08 8:50am) Ok, I know I'm not the one to be blogging about this... but then maybe I am... I go off topic about as often as anyone else does round here. Let's face it. Going off topic can be downright distracting! Sure what you may have to say, or what the Sprit within you has to point out migut be interesting, but is it relevant? Will you bless others by going off topic ? I mean , imagine if you will, we're all at the Sermon on the Mount, sitting at Jesus' feet, and He's teaching about the Kingdom of God, and all of a sudden Peter shouts out, "Look! A rabbit!" and then he goes after it, followed by John, and James and Judas. Jesus probably wouldn't blink. He'd keep teaching. However, the peoople aorund Him would be understandably distracted! Someone would be thinking... "Jesus, aren't you going to catch thar rabbit?" Someone else would be thinking... "Man, is that rabbit really all that important?" Maybe the chase was entertaining. Maybe the rabbit was dinner! (Maybe not, I don't think rabbit is kosher...) However, the result is the same... Something distracted us from the teaching of the Word. Now it's... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 9 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by lexyb)  - Total Views: 299 learning to raise my hands.. Posted by:  bethy   (Posted: 08/29/08 12:02am) One of the hardest things I have learned , and am still learning, is to be comfortable within myself. now that is hard in itself being that I come from an Irish presbyterian background. Sit in Church and follow the following code. !. No talking 2 no smiling Don't you dare even think about being spontaneous. almost forgot about number 4, dont wear jeans (well thankfully there is one area in church i rebel) But this is what brings me to the theme of my blog (if you still follow), i want to be able to raise my hands in worship when I go to pentecoastal churches. And I do go. But i can't get the presbyterian out of the woman. let me explain. The biggest conference in our country attracts speakers from all over the world. We have had Joyce meyers and beth moore(love Beth). But i digress again. There i am surrounded by women worshipping God with freedom. And there is little Beth(me) standing like a prize lemon not knowing what to do. Now i knew what I wanted to do,but could not quite manage it. I wanted to raise my hands in the air. I wanted to... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 13 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by kreynolds)  - Total Views: 399 going to be one of those days i think Posted by:  bethy   (Posted: 08/25/08 1:27am) i know its early in the morning but I know its going to be one of those days. yesterday we visited a friends church fifty miles away so it was very late when we arrived home. Adding to the fact i had eaten too much. They had laid on a wonderful barbeque for us all and we had thoroughly enjoyed it. But trying to sleep when you are full is almost impossible. Also too much coffee did not help. So there i am trying to sleep with a feeling of lead in my stomach and a caffine high to rival the empire state building. Eventually i fell asleep only to be wakened three hours later by the wind trying to tear the guttering pipe from below the window. And i have asked my hubby a few times to fix it. So now I lie in bed listening to what sounds like drums banging at the window and i am shattered. So eventually (and this is true) i stamp around the room looking out the window, glaring at the down pipe. Eventually i gave in and retreated to the dining room where i am now writing it all down. Almost forgot... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 2 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by annajones)  - Total Views: 107 Gathering dust bunnies and throwing out the cat. Posted by:  papillionkiller   (Posted: 08/24/08 7:17pm) Gathering dust bunnies and throwing out the cat. Enough seriousness, Somethings I've thought or heard with no idea from where or why. Growing exponentially by a factor of zero. If some ones junk is someone else's treasure - then - Some ones sense is someone else's non-sense. If I have two dogs and one cat how many animals do I have. Two close friends and one heretic. Or None, the dogs think their children and the cat knows it's not. In math two negatives can make a positive - I tried this theory at the bank with negative results. Someone explained to me that a UFO was a flying object that you can't identify, Thank goodness, I thought it meant Unified Forgetful Objectors. Have you ever tried to explain the meaning of nothing to a child? What did you use as an example? I'm walking a tightrope at ground level. I'm afraid of heights. I saw a white squirrel down south and a black squirrel up north. In Kansas I saw a white squirrel with a black strip down its back. Someone please hold my hand and tell me I'm all right. I've meant three men each had a unique... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 6 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by lilysvalley)  - Total Views: 233 "I want a krotch rocket!" Posted by:  4whirledpeas   (Posted: 08/21/08 7:23am) My 6yr old boy came up to me while I was on the computer. Whispering, as not to wake his daddy from his 10min nap, "Mom, when I grow up I want to ride those two wheel things that we saw in the bike shop." I whispered back " Like daddy's motorcycle?" Which is a softail Harley. He said "No, like the red one we saw that you said I couldn't ride." Raising my voice a little higher than a whisper I said "You are not allowed to ride a krotch rocket those are very dangerous" He said in a voice a little higher than a whisper but still lower than mine, "I'll take the rockets off and just make it a krotch so it won't be so fast." His daddy totally awake and looking at me like "see what you started" and rolling his eyes. I was full face red and trying not to laugh, failed miserably, I got out a few words saying "You can not ride those racing RACING RACING motorcycles, you can ride one like your daddy's." Seeing he wasn't getting through to me my son starts yelling "But I want a krotch! Just a krotch... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 1 Comment (by grandmabruce1955)  - Total Views: 108 Seven words a daughter fears hearing from her mother Posted by:  everfaithful   (Posted: 08/18/08 11:03am) Why do we as Moms think that after our children are capable of choosing their wardrobe, we can still continue to buy them clothing? My daughter had the uncanny ability to pick out her clothes and do her own hair for about age five. Prior to that, I was able to choose frilly dresses or style her hair any way I chose. Our kids reach a point where their own personalities shine through and they want to show it through their clothes and hair styles, etc. (and with my son...tattoos!) But why is it after many repeated rejections of clothing gifts we moms still want to pick out clothes for our kids. At Christmas time I love to pick out gifts and wrap them for my family. A less exciting but more practical gift would be a gift card or just cold hard cash! How boring is that to open on Christmas day?! But in the long run really that is what they truly want. I have noticed articles of clothing in my daughter and son's closet months later with the tags on, never worn. Yep these were the ones I picked out and they opened on Christmas morning with... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 6 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by savedbyegrace)  - Total Views: 256 Some Humor to Brighten your Weekend Posted by:  blessings2you   (Posted: 08/09/08 5:14am) Here we are in August, the Olympics are on many people's minds and kids are getting antsy wanting to get back to school. Normally it is very hot at this time of year but much of the country is enjoying an early cool snap. Now that all the news, weather and sports are done, it is time for a little humor to brighten your weekend. HOW TO STOP CHURCH GOSSIP Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose in other people's business. Several members did not approve of her activities, but feared her enough to keep quiet. She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told George (and several others) that everyone seeing his truck there would know what he was doing. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned around and walked away. He didn't explain, defend or deny... He said nothing. Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house...walked home...and left it there... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 8 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by blessings2you)  - Total Views: 584 How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, well I don't know but he sure can eat a lot of lettuce. Posted by:  kraftykatz   (Posted: 07/28/08 1:12pm) How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, well I don't know but he sure can eat a lot of lettuce. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. A woodchuck could chuck this much wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood. I have been watching and waiting for my leaf lettuce to mature so I could start eating it. They looked like the skinniest puniest excuse of plants I have ever seen, but still they were lettuce. Late Saturday afternoon, I looked out at my garden. There was a big very fat woodchuck (groundhog) eating away at my leaf lettuce. No wonder it was not filling out, he was eating it. The gorge themselves and reach a very large weight by the end of August so they have fat for winter hibernation. Makes me wonder about the carrots, spinach and broccoli we planted and never saw. Did that rascal eat the sprouts as soon as they appeared? There will be no leaf lettuce this year. Sure hope he doesn't take a liking to beets and tomatoes! God feeds these little animals and they do not work to earn food. This year He used us to... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 4 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by savedbyegrace)  - Total Views: 233 Remembering Good Old Fashioned Corny Humor Posted by:  blessings2you   (Posted: 07/19/08 7:38pm) It is a running joke that I am the only person in the world who never saw one minute of any "Star Wars" movie or "Star Trek" or "Spider Man" or any of the other movies everyone flocks to. I doubt if I ever will see the current "Batman" movie everyone is paying outlandish money to see nor will I ever see any movie for that matter. I don't go to movies and no longer rent or buy them either. But, I still do love to be moved by an old classic or laugh at old comedy. At times my wife and I like to watch various old comedies popular in the 1950's through the 80's. Shows such as "I Love Lucy" were classics at the time, but that humor was best loved by people like my parents who really did love Lucy. I really do like "Leave it to Beaver" along with "My Three Sons". Times back then were so much different than today, and definitely less complicated. My wife is 4 years younger than I and she was the oldest of the 4 children in her family. Her parents allowed the kids to watch one hour of television... Read Full Entry  - Category: Humor  - 6 Comments (view first comment - view last comment by kraftykatz)  - Total Views: 351 My thought was, "If I go in the water with that much fabric I will drown." Why should my quest for a modest and comfortable yet nice looking swimsuit be so hard? Posted by:  kraftykatz   (Posted: 07/13/08 1:25pm) My thought was, "If I go in the water with that much fabric I will drown." Why should my quest for a modest and comfortable yet nice looking swimsuit be so hard? My husband and I joined the local YMCA. They have a large regular pool, a therapeutic pool and a hot tub, along with exercise equipment. The water temperature of the therapeutic pool is warmer then the regular, 4 foot deep at one end and 5 ½ foot at the other. It allows me to walk around in the water and exercise with ease. The hot tub I would bring home if I could. I needed a new swimsuit. Finding one should be easy, but it is not. The world of clothing manufactures thinks all women like warring almost nothing and revealing almost everything. It is disappointing. The swimsuit I have now is one I made myself in 1993. It is a two-piece with a long tank style top that comes down to the upper part of my leg. I could not find a new one at the store that was not skimpy. A two-piece is easier for me to get into and out of. Th