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English: I am a broken man
Things have happened to me that have left scars, which will never go away
And when you think they have, like a proverbial war wound they begin to ache
Just as broken limbs will hurt in the death of winter, in the depth of sorrow my wounds haunt me
But I know I am healed
I know my Lord and my God has healed me
I know that nothing can separate me from the love of God
That God s grace is so rich and so wide spread that it reaches to me.
But I want to share some of my story
I don t need to
None of us need to and for some my story will be nothing to what you have gone through
But this is my story of brokenness.
Of how my life was scarred
You see I grew up in a Christian family
I have for as long as I remember trusted in Jesus
I have never doubted the love Jesus has for me
I have doubted how much his followers have loved me
And the way they have loved me
For when I was fourteen my youth pastor loved me in a way that was well, not the right way
You see he raped me
And not just one time, but several times
There were circumstances why I was unable to say anything
And the nave nature of youth
Fourteen then was much younger than Fourteen now
I was without knowing it deeply shattered
From deep within me
There was something broken
I don t know if you can understand
If you have suffered like this I pray for you
That you would rest in the love and grace of God
I have overcome
I am free of any feelings of guilt or shame
It was not my fault
And Jesus has loved me
He has forgiven me for all the wrongs I have done
So I can t sit and condemn this person
I forgave him a long time ago
But the scars are still there
It s hard to explain
They are not scars of hatred or shame or indignation
They are just reminders of being broken
And maybe that is a way that I can say
God I am so weak
But you make me strong
I am so broken
But you make me whole
I am nothing
But you are my all
I am incomplete
But you complete me
I pray these words might help someone in need
Someone who needs to be helped
That as you read these words you will see in between the lines
The love of God,
The healing nature of God
The power of his redemptive nature
The grace that has forgiven me
And has elected me
I am still a broken man
According to everything that is natural
But I can say and know with total certainty
In God I am a healed and restored man.
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