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Yesterday i went and picked Jodie up from school. It was 3pm, the bell had rung 10 mins ago, all of the other childrens parents had picked up their kids and cleared out and Jodie was no where to be seen. As i began to walk up to the front office, i heard a voice from around the corner and low and behold, it was Jods. She grabbed her bag off the bag rack and we began to walk home. As we were walking home she began to tell me about her day what she had learned, who got in trouble etc and then she began to apologise for being late in the afternoon ( it really didnt bother me lol) . She began to tell me why she was late and that a girl in the grade below her, Anna, who has Downsyndrome, had got herself all upset because her friend didnt come to take her to the afterhour school care room. Jodie said that she was upset and people kept walking by, so she grabbed Annas stuff and took her up to the classroom she needed to be in.
I grabbed her hand tighter in my hand and said to her, "You are beautiful. Do you know that?".
She glanced at me for a seconds, smiled, kicked the rock and said "Yeah, I know."
"But do you really know how beautiful you are?", I asked.
"Yes." she answered, "Everyone is beautiful in their own way" and off she went to recover the rock she had been kicking the whole way home.
I couldnt get her answer out of my head. She was right. Everyone is beautiful. But it was her confidence that she knew she was beautiful that touched me so. I hope that she always knows how beautiful she is.
On Sunday our pastor shared how her daughters loved to look at themselves in the mirror. They loved what they saw and thought the reflection of themselves was beautiful. I remembered a time when I was a child when I could look in the mirror and I liked what I saw. I thought knew I was beautiful. I dont remember thinking "Am I beautiful?" I just knew that I was.
But somewhere in my childhood I started to look in the mirror and I saw my imperfections. I no longer knew that I was beautiful. I started to ask the question, "Am I beautiful?" and the answer I received from so many voices was, "No. You are not beautiful. see that person over there- they are beautiful and you will never be like them." And I believed the lie.
I asked my family, "Am I beautiful?" and they answered, "Stop being so vain."
I asked my friends, "Am I beautiful?" and they answered, "What a show off. You are so up yourself."
I asked men, "Am I beautiful? and they answered, "Youre OK. But not as beautiful as her."
I asked women, "Am I beautiful?" and they laughed at me and said, "Youre kidding me right?"
The problem was I was asking the right question, but to the wrong people. It wasnt until I took my question to my King and He answered, "My darling, everything about you is beautiful, and there is nothing at all wrong with you", that I could start to look in the mirror and see the beauty in me.
It has taken me quite some time since this question was first answered by God for me begin to believe that I am beautiful. But now, each time i look in the mirror, i see this verse in which ive put on Jodies and My Bathroom mirror and i am reminded that i am made in His image.
My darling, everything about you is beautiful,
and there is nothing at all wrong with you.
My sister, my bride, you have thrilled my heart;
you have thrilled my heart
with a glance of your eyes,
with one sparkle from your necklace.
~Song of Solomon 4:7,9~