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This is a response I posted to a blog.
I got on the computer this morning because I thought I had a plan, but all morning long I have run into people like you, and I cannot stop the tears.
When you ask "why things happen?", I dont know why either.
I am now 58, but at 25 Jesus appeared to me and laid my life out before me. I thought, I should write this down, but I did not, and in the morning, when I awoke, I could only remember that he had been there, and the joy I felt knowing the end result.
May I just say that I have wanted to give up and walk away on many occasions. Yes, the thought of suicide crossed my mind many times, but I am still here.
Through the toughest times I always knew that God was right there; I was the one that was distant.
One recent episode (two weeks ago) I lost it at work. I cussed out anything that breathed, including the manager standing in front of me. He told me to go home! Can you imagine how I felt? Whatever just went through your mind would be about right. The next morning I went to one of my favorite churches, because worship time there is always awesome. I stood there in rebellion, my arms crossed. God spoke to me, even through my disgust and anger. I gave into God and let the anger go. That is when He spoke to me.
The awesome aspect of this is that God gave me a word, and told me that He would protect me at work, and He did. The same store manager that pulled me in the office and said, "I can fire you on the spot," did not. (Thank you Jesus.)
That manager just the other day, sat down with me, in the break room filled with people, and asked about what I was studying and why. Praise God. I shared this same story with him, and I shared it with everyone else that could hear me in the break room. I do not talk quietly, especially when it comes to my Jesus.
I can tell you this. I would not have chosen this path to get to this point in my life. I lost everything, but found a God I thought I knew, but really did not.
I have fallen in Love with Him more than I ever thought possible, and I sense that it is going to get better.
His word, which I have read several times, is jumping off the pages at me, as though they are so new and exciting.
I always had a want to understand Revelation and its "fearful" prophetic words. Only recently, I think because I asked the Holy Spirit to make it clear, Revelation and end times events are becoming so clear to me.
As for the fear aspect. I will give you a few quick references that God saw fit to show so that fear is not an aspect of our vocabulary when it comes to our hope in Christ.
1.) There is no fear to those who hunger and thirst after righteousness. He is righteousness. You are in Christ, and there is no fear in love. 2 Timothy 1:7; 1 John 4:18. I have heard these all my life, but only in the last few years have they began to make sense to me.
2.) In Matthew 24:37-39 Jesus, in response to several direct questions about the end of time said this, "But as the days of Noah were, ... until the day that Noah entered the ark, .." The point here is that as you read references to Noah, you find that God closed the door behind him, and then when Noah and his family were safe, God brought the wrath that he had promised.
3.) Peter not only used Noah as a reference about God preserving us from the wrath to come, but added Lot into the mix. Read Genesis 13 and you find Lot choosing sin city to make his home. In chapter 19 of Genesis angels come to get Lot and anyone willing to go with him, out of there. Why? because Gods wrath was coming upon this place. The angels told Lot that they could do nothing until Lot was out of harms way, and then they grabbed hold of all that were going with, and took them out. Clear of harms way, fire fell upon those cities.
4.) 1 Thessalonians 1:10 says, "..Jesus, which delivered us from the wrath to come." No differently than Lot, or Noah. He will deliver us. Therefore we have a strong hope, based not in guess-work, but in the Word of the King of the Ages, God himself.
If we are in Christ then we are new creations. Do you believe that? It is part of your hope.
We study and take drivers tests at Motor vehicle department because we have a hope. A hope that we can obtain a goal, a drivers license.
One of the reasons many come to the Lord is because we offer them hope. A hope of what? Life and deliverance from Gods wrath. Mans wrath is a whole other issue, but I implore you ponder Peters message to the crowd on the day of Pentecost you will find a freedom that will blast the doors off your thinking.
Peter quoted the Prophet Joel. Peter said, "this is fulfilled in your hearing" It happened there before them and like light has never ceased.
What happened? ... Considering that Joel prophesied about the end times, a time of darkness, gloom, and trembling, what could there possibly be in here that brings hope and life to anyone.
Joel 2:28-32 KJV ... . I will pour out my spirit upon all flesh; and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions: (29) And also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit. ... .. (32) And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call on the name of the LORD shall be delivered: for in mount Zion and in Jerusalem shall be deliverance, as the LORD hath said, and in the remnant whom the LORD shall call.
Do you realize that this time is now.
We have been given the right to move heaven and earth in behalf of people. Not just people, but captives.
Consider what happened in the garden when they came to take Jesus. Few seem to realize this. They said to him, are you the one we are looking for? Jesus replied, I AM, and they all fell backward at his response.
Oh dear Lord, let us grasp this. For we have denied you and lived in fear, lacking an understanding of who you were for so long.
Read the book Hebrews, starting around chapter 11, and you will find what some call the hall of Faith. Some of these people choose not to be delivered, because they knew their reward was in heaven, and by choice they died.
Hebrews 11:33-35 Moffatt NT (33) ...who by faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, obtained promises, shut the mouth of lions, (34) quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness won to strength, proved valiant in warfare, and routed hosts of foreigners. (35) Some were given back to their womankind, raised from the very dead; others were broken on the wheel, refusing to accept release, that they might obtain a better resurrection;
Jesus himself said to the Romans and Jews: John 19:11 Moffatt NT Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me, unless it had been granted you from above."
Yes, I am telling you there is power in the name of Jesus Christ. Power to still an enemy and an avenger.
This Jesus Christ, chase him, pursue him, follow after him as a deer that longs for water.
Make him your pursuit and your oil will never run dry.
Think about this. The prophet Elisha tells the dear woman, who is on the verge of having to sell her son to pay debts, to gather pots and pour what oil you have into them. The woman and her son did this until they ran out of pots, and then the oil ceased. (Read about this in 2Kings 4:1-6)
Yours is a pot that is endless, and even at that we have the promise that God will continue to pour even if it overflows. He is all in favor of the blessing that you are receiving flowing out onto others.
I am responding to you, but I will tell you this. This has spoken to me too, and in the Name of Jesus Christ, this will minister to others as well. You have no idea, like Queen Esther, that God called you here just for this purpose.
There will be those that speak against this word. You may be one of them. Dont just sit there, be like the Berean Jews, who heard a word that challenged them, and then looked it up for themselves. We are the Laodicean church because we have denied God, refused His power, and looked to be entertained and not be the ones that set people free. You will know exactly why you are here on this earth the day you step outside yourself and lift someone off their feet to bring them deliverance.
Try it. I dare you!
In Gods loving arms and grace, until the day of His appearing.