Beth M @blest

  I have been a member of ChristianBlog.Com for 48 years, 9 months and 21 days.

  I have published 39 blogs and 2,237 comments.

 My first blog was published on Tuesday 26th of May 2009.

 My most recent blog was published on Friday 25th of May 2018.

My Blog Archive
The Widow M at Two Years. How can it be
Published
Two  Years.  Oh my love.  Oh my Love.  Two Years.  How can it be.  How...
The Widow M At Almost 2 Years Since.
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So the Two Year Sadiversary is coming up.  I would have thought by now that I would have some idea of what I wanted to do with my life.  I sort of set it as a deadline for making decisions.  You know, what am I going to do with my house what am I...
Birthday My Kirkus, Birthday.
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Oh my Love, Oh my Love, So much has happened. So much. I do not recognize the person I am. I would have thought that God would have helped me become a better person. He has not. I still cannot hear him most of the time. You were my man of God. You...
The Bubble Has Popped - The Widow M On Her Birthday
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The Bubble Has Popped Today is my Birthday. Not just any birthday. The Big One. I said Good-Bye to my fifties last night and said Hello to the Big Six-Oh. I am not ready for this. But not at all for the reasons you presume. I care not a whit about...
The Widow M and Her Widda Friends
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Several weeks ago at Grief Group, one of the Widows mentioned that her anniversary was coming up. She said that she was going to visit Archie and release some orange balloons for their wedding anniversary. She explained that Archie was a great...
The Widow M Borrowing From One Who Went Before
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I did not write this. This letter has been circulating for some time around widow/er hangouts. I wrote some blogs with similar sentiments, but this person put most of "our" sentiments together quite well. If you know anyone who has lost...
The Widow M vs The Tire
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Widowhood brings with it many challenges, not the least of which is taking on the jobs of both spouses. I was spoiled completely, as Kirk took care of everything. I knew where to put gas into the car, but that was about it. Since, as you recall, I had...
The Widow M at Christmas
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My dear fellow CBers. I love you dearly. And some of you have been truly wonderful. Some of you are clueless, but that is not your fault. I was most definitely clueless before joining the ranks of the Widowed. My faith will get me through. HA! All of...
The Widow M at Four Months
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It is almost 4 months. The entire world thinks I should be "better" by now. Thank God for Grief Groups. I go to 3 of them. And in them, I find other people who are in the same boat. It is NOT unusual to not be any better at this point. In...
Six Weeks a Widow. Where are you, God?
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Where are you, God? Where are you? I can't feel you; I can't hear you. I am drowning. People say that Kirk is by me. No, he is not. He is awaiting the Lord's return. I don't feel his presence; I feel only his absence. So this is why we...
A Widow for 3 Weeks
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It's been 3 weeks. 3 weeks. A lifetime. I can't stop crying. I can't find any reason to go on. I know God must have a reason for keeping me here; but I certainly can't feel it. I still can't hear Him. I still can't feel Him. I...
I Went to See his Grave Today
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Oh, my dear Friends at CB. You are keeping me breathing. Which, most of the time I do not view as a good thing. I have no reason to get out of bed. Then I think, "I need to check CB" and I get out of bed. Today I visited his grave. Not a bad...
Kirk's Farewell Words
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This will be a very difficult thing to write. You see, I found Kirk's "Last Will and Desires" in our Safe Deposit Box. I am so sorry, My Honey, I am so very very sorry. I did not do what he wanted. He is not buried where he wanted to be...
Grieving the Love of My Life
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The family is gone and it's been over a week since my Honey left this life. You'd think I would be able to function now. You'd think I would get dressed. There are a zillion things to do. I can't seem to do one of them. People ask me...
Sleep Peacefully, My Love
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My dearest Love, 48 hours ago this minute, the phone rang. Never ever ever in my wildest dreams would I ever believe that I would never see you again. 28 years ago today, I became whole, when I became your wife. I can't believe you are gone. I...
Breakfast with My Customers
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I sometimes wonder what life would have been like had I actually used my highly expensive college education instead of spending my working life as a waitress. My fellow graduates are heads of corporations, highly regarded doctors, astronomically paid...
If you REALLY want to know about Kirk's ablation...
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For those of you who are really interested... I am going to try to explain, in laymen's terms, and with my advanced artistic talent, as you can see , what did and is happening with Kirk. The lovely artistic rendering on the left, is a simple heart...
A Mother's Love Never Wanes
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That is a picture from my high school yearbook, of my mother handing me...
Another One Of Our Own CB Members In God's Angel Army
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My last blog in this series was about one of our own, @kreynolds, who dropped everything and drove 500 miles to stay with me for a week. I would like to introduce you to another one of our own here at CB, who made the trip here also. I have a copy of...
God's Personal Angel Army For Me ~ Part 3
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9/1/2014: We have learned that Kirk M+(@blessings2you) has had to be taken to the ICU - he is unconscious but stable. Please say a pray for Kirk - and share your thoughts here. 9/3/2014 8PM/PST: At this point in time Kirk is still in ICU and is still...
God's Personal Angel Army For Me ~ Clyde
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"But God is a god of miracles. Not only did He bring my Kirkus back from the brink of death, He surrounded me with His Angel Army and they brought me safely through." In the beginning they were black coffee and hot tea. Then they were the...
God's Personal Angel Army For Me ~ When God called them to Battle
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As many of you know, last fall was the most difficult time in Kirk's and my life Kirk was oblivious to it at the time, as he was unconscious and fighting for his life. I was an utter mess. God sent His angel army, not only to surround Kirk with...
Kirk is doing so very much better!
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Hello All, It is day #45 of Kirk being in the hospital... the third one now. Thank you all for your time and labor of love in praying for Kirk. God has answered prayers and he is doing so much better! I think I told you he is in an acute rehab...
Bazaleel, 5 Doctors, and Mr. West
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"See, I have called by name Bezaleel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah: And I have filled him with the spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all manner of workmanship, To devise cunning...
God's Support Staff ~ or Why I am a Member of the Survivor's Group
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In late March of 1998, while my husband was visiting his parents in another state, I got a phone call... Telling me that my husband had had another heart attack and that he would be undergoing bypass surgery. The next day. He was 45. We lived way out...