Humor From The South

You can say what you want about the South, But you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North! I won't tell you what state I'm from originally, but it's in this list! :) But I think we know where our beloved Shadow and billyb live :) So for you and others...this joke is for you! Hope you enjoy! Alabama A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail", the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call", nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!" Kentucky A Kentucky man walks into a travel agency in response to an ad about free river cruises. As the man described why he was there to the lady behind the desk, the woman hit a button, two men spring up behind the guy, beat him up, take his wallet, stuff him into a sack, and throw him out into the river. A few moments later another Kentucky man walks in and also begins to speak when the woman hits the same button. The two men spring out, beat him up, stuff him in a sack, steal his wallet, and throw him out back into the river. A few miles down river the two men catch up to one another and the first man says, "I wonder if they serve dinner on this cruise?" The second replies,"They didn't last year." Louisiana A young man was pulled over by the Louisiana state police for speeding. The officer stepped out of his patrol car, adjusted his sunglasses, and swaggered up to the young man's window."What chew driving so fast for son? You going to a fahr?. Let me see your license, boy." The young man handed over his license. Then the officer noticed that the back seat of his car was full of large knives. The officer said, "Tell me boy, why you got them knives on that there back seat?" The young man replied, "Well sir, I'm a juggler." The officer spat some tobacco juice and then he said, "A juggler; well you don't say. Boy, put cha hands on the trunk of yer car; you going to jail!" The young man pleaded with the officer not to take him to jail. He offered to prove to the officer that he was a juggler by way of demonstration. He said, "You can even hold me at gunpoint while I juggle for you." The officer reluctantly allowed him to prove his point while he held him at gunpoint." Two miles down the road at Joe's Tavern, Billy Bob was drinking it up with Homer T. Ratcliff. He soon left and got into his old, rusty pickup truck. He proceeded down the road trying his best to stay on the right side. Suddenly Billy Bob spotted the most unbelievable sight of his life! He drove to the nearest phone booth and dialed the number for Joe's Tavern and asked for his buddy, Homer T. Ratcliff. When Homer got on the phone Billy Bob said, "Whatever you do when you leave that tavern, don't go north on 442. The state police are giving a sobriety test that nobody can pass!!" Mississippi The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." North Carolina A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, " have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither." Tennessee A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?" Texas The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'." West Virginia Two West Virginians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?" "us' some chickens." "If I guess how many there are, can I have one?" "I'll give you both of them." "OK. Ummmmm... .., five?" Badda boom! That's the end...I know I missed a couple of good states in there...maybe next time! LOL!

@kiwibird
Alison Stewart @kiwibird ·

I hope you have one for all the other states!

kbird

@following
Ted Foy @following ·

LOL, that was great. I am laughing so hard I have tears flowing down my cheeks, thanks.

Blessings,
Ted

@billyb
Billy Beard @billyb ·

2G, those are some good jokes all-right. Well, Ok, maybe some of them are true. But you gotta admit, most folks would have just thrown that toilet seat away!!:) God Bless, Sis.

Billy

@aliveintheword
Art Schnatterly @aliveintheword ·

Humor may not be the best medicine, but it has to be close to bestest!

Thanks for the morning laughs!

Shalom, Art

@cowgirldiva
·

2G,

Well I didn't really understand a few of 'em but they sure were fun to read!

Diva:heart:

@shadowalker
Alan Nethery @shadowalker ·

Enjoyed Anita! :dance:

Humor is always the best medicine for just about all that ails you!

Blessings! :pray:

Alan
S:coffee:

@billansor
Bill Sorensen @billansor ·

Ole and Sven

We want Ole and Sven

Where is Ole and Sven?

Bill

@dancer
Emily Ervin @dancer ·

LOL. What I find really funny is the one that I hear all the time... is the Tennessee one.

Do not include honorifics.

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