Universal Truths Humor

2. There's nothing worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. [spacer] 3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. [spacer] 4. There is great need for a sarcasm font. [spacer] 5. How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? [spacer] 6. Was learning cursive really necessary? [spacer] 7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. [spacer] 8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. [spacer] 9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired. [spacer] 10. Bad decisions make good stories. [spacer] 11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. And it might even hit you at home too. [spacer] 12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection - again. [spacer] 13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of WORD and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper, or blog (heaven forbid there's a 10 page blog!). Especially when I KNOW that I did not make any changes to it! [spacer] 14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever. [spacer] 15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring, but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away? [spacer] 16. I hate leaving my house looking good and feeling confident; then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste. [spacer] 17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. [spacer] 18. Refrigerators have them, I think the freezer deserves a light as well. [spacer] 19. I wish Google Maps and the shortest distance on a GPS had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option. [spacer] 20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it. [spacer] 21. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in. [spacer] 22. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text message on my cell phone. [spacer] 23. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. [spacer] 24. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said? [spacer] 25. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent jerks from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! [spacer] 26. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. [spacer] 27. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year? [spacer] 28. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far. [spacer] 29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists when they are on the roadway or they walking path. [spacer] 30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. [spacer] 31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my life everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! [spacer] No, I didn't forget # 1 and the most important #1 for us all - OUR LORD IS FULL OF WONDER and HIS NAME IS HOLY!!

@ptl2008
·

You gave me one of the reasons to smile today. Thank you 2G.

ptl2008

@barbrussell
Barbra Russell @barbrussell ·

I love it! Sometimes we just take ourselves too seriously! :) #13 and #24 are so true! Thanks

Barbra

@billyb
Billy Beard @billyb ·

Thanks for the laughs. Enjoyed them. God Bless, Billy

@aliveintheword
Art Schnatterly @aliveintheword ·

Thanks for the chuckles 2G! Great way to continue the day.

May I add:

27b: Unless it deals with anything electronic or 3-D.
27c: and 5 year olds get smarter and smarter!

Shalom, Art

@lovemercy
·

Thanks 2G! A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance (Proverbs 15:13a.)

This made my heart feel much better!

@roberthughesrth
Robert Hughes @roberthughesrth ·

9 -When was the last time you sabbathed? that means a whole day full of nothing that you might find work, stress, or simply anythng you have to do. Only rest.

If you don't get your full benefit immediatly, it may take some time to get the swing of things.

-RTH

Do not include honorifics.

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