I remember myself as the young christian, constantly running around doing things for God and trying to split myself in two simply to please Him. I would like to have the opportunity to go back and tell my foolish self these things I have over the years come to realise and learn.
My darling you do not have to work to gain God's Love. You do not have to work at every organisation there is. You do not have to be the last out the door. You do not have to beat yourself up if you dont read your scriptures every day. You see my little one God loves you simply because he chose to love you. 1 John 4 :19 tells me that we love God because he first loved us. Don't strive for love that is already yours.
Sweetheart, you spend so much time hiding who you really are that you are tormenting yourself. You tiptoe around your sins because you are terrified that God will be outraged or disappointed in you. You have shame that overwhelms you because you hide beneath a cloak of respectability. You so want to come to God but your feet wont move. Listen my love to what God tells you in Psalm 139. In verse one he tells you that He has searched you and he already knows you. Don't be afraid of Him for he already knows and is waiting for you to unburden yourself. You don't have to hide from Him for from verse seven God tells you darling that wherever you go he is there before you. In the heavens, in the darkest pit, in he deepest ocean or the darkest corner He is waiting for you. My love, learn not to hide for I have learned that I cannot hide from God and in that truth I have freedom.
The third thing I want to teach you honey is that we are never expected to Hold God up. We don't even have to Hold on tight to Him when we are in distress. Listen to this sweetheart, In Isaiah ch 41:13 our Heavenly Father tells us that He the Lord your God takes hold of your right hand. Let Him hold you not the other way round.
These three things I have learned through pain and tears.
Your much older, battered and wiser self.