At first I thought I was day dreaming then I thought I was experiencing a strange sensation in my ears but then I realised I was without meaning to I was hearing the changing room antics of the woman in the cubicle next to my mothers.
Now im not sure if you have ever stood outside a changing room and listened to what went on behind that locked flimsy door but I can tell you it can be a real eye opener. You could be forgiven for believing you were listening to someone getting their teeth drilled without being frozen up or having a limb removed without anesthetic. You may even think you have been transported back to drop off day in pre school from the amount of sniffles and tears that can emerge from the cubicle.
"Maybe if I lose a few pounds it will fit" , "Maybe the blue in size 10 will fit if the red size 10 is too small". "Maybe if I hold my stomach in for the next ten years it will fit". Maybe if I grew six inches" . All the while these statements are accompanied by moans and groans that sound like a kitten locked in a box. The friend in the changing room is meanwhile trying to tell them that "sure it looks good" . "Yeah it may not zip up the back but we can put fake tan on your back and no one will notice the fact the zip has just burst, or that your mini dress is touching your ankles because you are knee high to a gnome"
I have never in my life heard women so disgruntled with their bodies as they are when they enter a changing room. Im not sure what it is about those places but we lose all self esteem, all sense of our worth and all sense of the gospel when we dare to enter in.
Yet I found myself guilty of the very same thing last week while out running. A much younger woman was out running too and as she passed me in the opposite direction I couldnt help but wish I looked like her. Unless someone put me on a rack and stretched my by around eight inches I wasnevergoing to look like her. Unless I had my mouth taped shut and was refused food for around a month I was really never going to look like her. So I quickly slapped myself and reminded myself that I was created in the image of God and he created me how I am for a purpose.
But we do struggle with who we are and how we are. We forget the bigger picture and that we are here to fulfill the greatest commission and not worry about our height, our suntan, our clothing or any other earthly thing.
Psalm 139 remains my favourite passage of scripture. Go read it.
PS... please dont eavesdrop on me the next time I am in a changing roomPLEASE !
Oh goodie, a "Bethy" blog! As someone who is definitely not comfortable with the way they look, I could so relate to this blog. At the same time, I was reminded of the story behind my avatar which reminds me of who I am in Christ. I am a "princess", one of God's princesses and when I remember that, well, even the world around me notices the difference.
Another little gem! I love clothes shopping but hate trying to stuff on! Jodie is usually my shopping buddy and she is all too aware of my hesitation in buying stuff because I hate the part where I have to look in the mirror. I hate being faced with seeing all my physical imperfections, the scars, the rounder bits, the wobbly bits. Funny thing is, I hear Jods say the same things and she is far from being a 'big' girl.. Oh the joys!