For fairly obvious reasons, I am genuinely happy to see 2015 come to a close. This year, even more than 2014, has tested my patience and faith more than any year in quite awhile. The seemingly endless parade of physical woes I have encountered this year have left me gasping for the clean air of a new year. I have grown exceedingly weary of not feeling well, thinking I must go to the hospital again etc. If I am weary of this routine, I cannot imagine how weary my poor wife is of it!
I genuinely wish it were God's will in my life to be healed of all my physical problems and return to a degree of normalcy. But, unless God's will changed and I missed it, such is not the case. There is indeed a fine line between physician heal thyself and humbly accepting God's will in your life. I have no problem believing God is able to heal anyone at anytime from anything. My problem lies in believing that is God's particular will for my life.
I fully understand why so many of my friends have moved on to others and left me in their rear view mirror. Who wants to be friends with a broken down guy who clogs the prayer request lines with urgent pleas for his latest crisis? Who wants to manifest the patience and understanding needed to lift this big body of mine up to the Father on a regular basis? I truly do understand why people I have known for nearly 50 years have evaporated like the morning dew. How can anyone believe in my message if I cannot believe to get healed ?
I wrestle daily with the apparent hypocrisy found in my inability to walk the talk when it comes to feeling spectacular and teaching the same. In my defense, I have tried very hard to NOT teach that it is God's universal will for everyone to be healed of every malady every time one comes up. As far as I know, God's universal will is reflected in 1 Timothy 2:3, 4:
3This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour;
4who would have all men to be saved, and come to the knowledge of the truth.
American Standard Version
The will of God for every person on earth is that they be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. God's universal will is NOT that every person be rich with a ripped body and looks to kill for . The god of this world has installed these lies into people's minds via the media to make them feel inferior if they are not physically perfect. Psalms tells us that many are the woes of the righteous, but the Lord delivers them out of them all . God's people have throughout history been afflicted, persecuted and even killed. God's will is reflected in the ability to stay strong in the faith which is in Christ Jesus regardless of what is going on around and even to us.
As for me, I will continue to pray that God's will be done in my life. If God chooses to call me home tomorrow; so be it. If God chooses to continue to demand that I endure afflictions as a good soldier of Christ; so be it. If God chooses to lift the financial and physical oppression and allow me to live free of pressure, pain and duress; so be it. I refuse to tell God what to do with my life. Faith demands that I strive to accept His will (whatever it may be) and do my best to do my duty to Him who has called me to stand for Him and be His ambassador.
Tomorrow starts a new year and regardless of what 2016 brings, I am resolved no longer to linger, charmed by the world's delights. Those things which are higher and things which are nobler, THESE have allured my sight. I will hasten to Him, Hasten so glad and free. Jesus, greatest, highest I will come to Thee
Reading your blog reminded me of a passage of scripture that hangs on the wall in front of me. It says:
"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day.
For our present troubles are small and won t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever!
So we don t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NLT)
Those of us who deal with chronic illness and indeed any ongoing battle to which there seems to be no end need to remember these words. It seems like an eternity, especially when you are living it but earlier Paul writes that it is but for a moment. Compared to eternity it is but in the moment it seems like anything but that!
Please know that Dave and I continue to remember you and Beth in our prayers.
Thanks Kirk for sharing Establishing the will of God in our lives!
Me thinks that you are doing great things for our Lord.
And contentedness always bring the greatest Peace!
Proverbs 13:25,Philippians 4:11 ,Ecclesiastes 3:22
Be blessed forever