For many years of my life, I was of the opinion that my purpose in living was to "save the world". I spent years leading would be evangelists on mission trips and "witnessing blitzes". After doing this for quite some time, the passion started to wane and the realization hit me that there must be more to the story than just spending one's life converting everyone to what I believed.
After a season of rest, I embarked on a mission to "change the world". I tried to get people to think and live differently. The problem was that I had my own issues which needed to be changed but I was unwilling and unable to confront them. After a very frustrating season, I came to realize that there is more to life than confronting people constantly.
A few years ago I embarked on a mission to "help the world". I spent all my time and money on finding resources for people devastated by Hurricane Katrina and other natural disasters. However pure and good my motive, within a very short amount of time the resources dried up and so did my mission. I came to realize that one person cannot save, change or feed the world.
The older I get, the wiser I become. As I have mellowed and aged, I have come to see that much of what I did earlier in my life was driven by pride and the yearning desire to be praised for my good deeds. It has taken me a lifetime to understand that whatever we do and however we serve, the motivation must be love or it profits me nothing.
We do not reach out to evangelize, teach and convert so that we can form a ministry with our name attached to it. We do not write books, teach classes and appear on television so that we become famous and develop flocks of adoring fans. We do not start churches, take small churches to mega status and build super structures so that we can be rich and live a more affluent life than the world.
Each one of us has to arrive at the point we know in our heart of hearts we are doing what God wants us to be doing and then do it. For some it is missions. For others it is teaching. For others it is building churches. For others it is writing. For others it is providing a Christian blogging site. For others it is praying. For others it is smiling. None of us will ever be content until we are faithfully doing what God desires of us to do.
I thank God that finally I am at peace and totally content with what I am doing. Gone are the struggles of feeling I needed to be doing more. Some may point their fingers at me and say I should do this or that, but in reality, I know in my heart I am doing exactly what God wants me to be doing and His peace in my heart proves it.
This blog is full of spiritual insight. Isn't it interesting that our personality types come right along with us when we become believers? They too often drive our choices as Christians and we don't even realize it. You are right it does take maturity. We have to understand that the greatest of good works only become good in God's eyes when the motive behind them is pure. They may appear good in the sight of others and generate all kinds of kudos because man can only look on the outside but God looks at the heart. Real maturity comes as we learn how to die to self and submit to God the Holy Spirit so that He can begin transforming the motives of our hearts to line up with the law of love. It is then our unique personalities can be guided by the Spirit and become useful to accomplish God's will.
Thank your for this blessing,