I understand that most people do not want to read about someone helping their elderly parents. In today’s society, “old people” belong in a senior apartment complex, assisted living or nursing home. This attitude is based on nothing but pure selfishness. Children do not want the distraction and responsibility of caring for their parents because it interrupts their lives.
Why is it that Christians seem to think that verses such as Ephesians 6:1-3 only apply to linfants? Look closely at these verses and see if there is any reference to this being written only to small children:
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right .
2 “Honor thy father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise :
3 “that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth .”
Paul called Timothy his “child in the faith”. We are called “children of God”. Just because the word children is used, does not mean it is limited to babies, infants or toddlers. How could an infant even read this epistle anyway?
The first commandment Moses gave which had any positive ramifications was to “honor thy father and mother” for it included the promise of things going well and having long life. When children forsake their parents as they grow old, they are no longer honoring them. When children refuse to manifest compassion, patience and understanding toward the needs of their elderly parents, they are not honoring them.
My wife and I have no children. Many times we have talked about what will become of us if the Lord tarries and we grow old and feeble. Who will take care of us? Who will make sure we are eating right, taking our medicines and not sinking into depression? Since none of our nieces or nephews would get involved, I guess we would become wards of the state. Oh what a horrific thought that is.
When we are young and unable to care for ourselves, our parents took care of us. They made sure we ate correctly, brushed our teeth and had our needs met. The will of God has always been that when those parents grow old and unable to take care of themselves, the children would step in and take care of them. Up until the last 60 years or so, when parents grew old, they moved in with their children where they finished this life being cared for by them.
It infuriates me and deeply hurts my heart to see so many Christian children forsake their parents as they get old and unable to care for themselves. This is not honoring your father and mother and thus it is contrary to the will of God. Isn’t it a bit interesting how parents will bend over backwards and faithfully devote themselves to their children, but children are unwilling to do the same for their parents when they get too old to take care of themselves?
Please, in the name of God’s love and compassion, if you have parents who are reaching the age they can no longer take care of themselves, instead of pushing them into a worldly place to “keep them out of your hair”, get involved and help them as they helped you many years before. Nothing is more ugly and disgraceful than parents neglecting their children, except children neglecting their parents.
What a reminder this is!
My Mom is in a nursing home, not because her children don't want her in their homes but because her special needs require 24/7 care and special contraptions to move her about. She is far enough away that I only get to visit her a few times a year. I do call her every week, but it's not the same as being there. These past few weeks I have not done that since my voice is pretty much gone from the rads and she can't hear me on the phone-but I've only written her once in that time and I have no real excuse for not at least just sending her a "thinking of you" card. Shame on me for being so wrapped up in myself!
Should the Lord permit me to see old age, I can only pray that those whose lives I have invested in will be there to support me. I lived hundreds of miles away from my parents for many years and felt like I had done myself a favor, but as time passed, I realized that there was no one to help these people and there were many needs to be addressed. I too was wrapped up in my own concerns and wants...overwhelmed even. This was my experience. After much prayer and consideration, I moved home and now live with my parents where I am progressively turning the tables on my previous abandonment. I must say, it has been one of the most rewarding things I have ever done. My independent life was fruitless compared to this. I want to be here. They tell me "Thank You" all the time, but they are the ones to be thanked, not me.
Wonderful blog, and it inspires me to continue being the hands and feet of Christ!
My grandmother, who lived to be 96 years old, was fortunate enough to be in fairly good health up to the very end although the last couple of years she was confined to a wheelchair. She could walk some but there had been some falls and she was unsteady.
Her family was large enough that though she had a "primary" residence first with one of my aunts and later my mom for the last 18 years of her life, she went on extended "visits" until the last couple of years. At that time, various children would come to visit her for a few weeks at a time over the summer months thus giving my mom a break. She had five surviving children at that time, all of whom had open doors for her and like I said, her health was fairly good for someone her age. Prior to 2000, she would often spend three months or so at my house, sometimes longer.
Like Pooh said, it is not always possible to care for a parent at home. Truthfully, I pray that the day will never come when my mom can no longer live in her house. For now my brother lives with her but if her health would suddenly deteriorate we could have a major problem on our hands for she would fight moving, even into another place of her own better suited for her situation tooth and nail. Therein lies another problem. What does one do if a parent cannot live on their own and yet insists on either doing so or insists that you sell your house and move in with them? Sigh... like I said, I hope I never have to deal with that.
blessings2you, you are so right. My parents are 89 and 91, both have longevity in their families. I am blessed they are alive and live in their home (their choice) though I and my siblings must provide 24/7 care now, but that is the easy part despite the financial burden. It is making time in our "busy" lives to not just drop in, but spend time, hours, a day each week. I see what joy and peace it gives my parents. I know it has given them a quality of life that nursing care does give, whether at home or otherwise. I cannot image putting either of them in a nursing home, though I understand for some of us, there is no other choice. We live in a peculiar time. For those who have children and parents, the financial hurdles are greater than ever. Kids who can't find jobs need money, parents who didn't or couldn't plan for old age need money. The crunch is painful, as is the question of who will take of us. Thankfully we have a great God. I ask Him to show us all the way. I pray our nation finds a way out of debt and that we can take care of those who cannot take care of themselves. I pray that we all prosper and be in health. jd