Without question, a person driven by hatred is motivated to do whatever it takes to avenge the wrong done to him and extract a measure of revenge. People spend (waste) a lifetime waiting for the right moment to repay a wrong done to them in the past with a wrong in the present. The old saying of "two wrongs don't make a right" means nothing to the person driven by revenge.
Many of us were used, abused, mistreated, neglected or hurt by someone at some point in our lives. Many of us were treated unfairly, made the scapegoat by those unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions or used as pawns by people interested only in themselves. Many of us grew up in broken homes full of anger, abuse, alcohol or drugs. Many of us were victims of horrible things done by horrible people.
A person with unresolved issues is a person with a slow burning fire smoldering within their heart. They never are free to enjoy God's blessings in their lives for they are preoccupied with either finding a way to repay "evil for evil" or obtain the pity of others for their plight. A person driven by anger will sooner or later erupt in rage. A person who is persuaded they are a victim will inevitably turn into a sour and morbid individual.
I know all about the things I am writing about and anyone who has read my older blogs knows that to be true. I must live with the realization I wasted a big chunk of my life wallowing in self-pity and/or seething with hidden rage for atrocities committed to me by those I either trusted or loved. I spent many years building my own personal prison where I lived encumbered by the ball and chain of resentment, bitterness and pity.
Many years ago God informed me that enough was enough and that He needed me to "get over" what had happened in my life and ministry. Through an amazing set of circumstances lasting many years, God helped me find release from the prisons I dwelt in. In His due time, I was able to not only pray for those who despitefully used me, I was able to sit down with many of them and "bury the hatchet".
No words can fully express the joy in my heart when I finally walked out of my own personal prison, free from all the ugly things that rendered me useless and miserable. There is nothing more incredible in this life than the refreshing and revitalizing power of forgiveness. There is nothing more difficult to do in this life than to forgive those who have hurt or destroyed your life.
God has forgiven us of everything we ever did against Him. Now we must strive to forgive those who have "ruined our lives" or caused us to become prisoners of rage or pity. One of the last things Jesus said before He died was; "Father forgive them for they know not what they do". If Jesus could forgive those who betrayed, denied , tortured and killed Him; can we not forgive those who have spoken ugly words to us, falsely accused us or sought to destroy our good name? I think we can and pray we do.
Amen amen amen!! I've been praying for someone very close to me to come out of this type of prison he has put himself in. He needs to forgive the person who did him wrong. I hope I can share this blog with him and tell him that he's not the only one and that God is there for him and has forgiven him and wants him to forgive as well. Only then will he truly be at peace.
Thank you for sharing this!
God bless you!
It's wonderful to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel. 1 Peter 3:9 says, "Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing". As I read your story, I obviously related to it with an experience in my own life. I know that I need to forgive in order that I may also be forgiven. I just pray it doesn't last my whole life or even half my life or a quarter of my life. It's already been 2 years with no signs of forgiveness happening any time soon, but I know in my heart that is what I want and that in itself helps me - it doesn't fix me though. It is so easy to understand why they can't forgive - they are godless, raised in a broken family, they indulge in the passions of the world, etc. etc. etc. They are sour and bitter and yet I love them. In my heart, I ache for their forgiveness and what I don't understand is how they cope - yet they appear to be coping just fine and dandy. Clearly I can't let this go. The only biblical recommendation I can find is "if you seek, you will find"... "and in God's time"... which could be 40 years. :( But then I came across this verse: 1 Peter 3:10
whoever desires to love life
and see good days,
let him keep his tongue from evil
and his lips from speaking deceit:
Maybe the key is in what you say? After all, God spoke everything into being. There are power in words, and maybe I should be focusing on my tongue rather then on what others are doing or what they are not doing.
We seem to think that forgiveness toward one another is "optional". We seem to think that we do not need to forgive until they ask for it or until we have feelings in our heart that we can forgive them. None of the above is true and indeed, it is mandatory that we forgive... not when they ask for it but we must extend it first, just like God does toward us. We do not forgive because they deserve it, we forgive because God forgives and ultimately their sin is against God... not us. In actuality, we have no right to not forgive.
I realize this is a very hard thing but I also know that the Lord is our helper and with God... all things are possible.