Thank you for being my family/friends

Don’t get me wrong, I am an extremely thankful person. I daily thank God for the simple yet beautiful life He has allowed me to live. I daily thank God for the beautiful and loving wife He has allowed me to share this life with. I daily thank God for the friends I have met and the relationships I have developed with many of YOU.

As deeply thankful as I am, there remains a couple of things which for one reason or another I have not been blessed with in this life. At times they simply are things I miss and at other times they truly do bring a genuine ache to my spiritual heart. Those two things are children and a brother who is a brother indeed.

In a couple of weeks a day is celebrated which is a bit tough for me, Father’s Day. Ever since my dad died in 1998, the only thing special about the day is the final round of the US Open Golf tournament. The problem with a day like Father’s Day, just like with Mother’s Day, comes when a person has no children and their parents have died. Instead of a day of joy and love, the day can become a bit trying.

When it was established some 15 years ago that we could not have children, everyone told us to either become foster parents or adopt a special needs child. We talked at length about it and decided it would not be best due to our living arrangements at the time. Somewhat out of desperation and somewhat out of God’s Providence we ended up with our family of dogs which became our children.

Amazingly, for the many years we had between 4 and 6 dogs the pain of not having any human children was bearable. I cringe when I think of what life would have been like with no dogs to shower our love and affection upon. Many people thought we were crazy or irresponsible for having so many dogs. All we could ask them to do was to walk a mile in our shoes.

It is so easy to judge and force one’s personal views on a subject upon everyone else. If someone doesn’t grow up in a home with pets, they frown upon those who do. If a person grows up in the lap of luxury, they have a difficult time relating to those who are raised in poverty. A person who grows up an only child or the same as, has a hard time understanding what it is like to have brothers and sisters around all the time.

My sister was born in 1940, my brother was born in 1945 and I was born in 1953. When my sister left to go to college, I was 5 years old. Obviously I have no memories of ever having a sister as a child. My brother left to get married when I was 11 years old. I do have some fond memories of my brother, but they are sketchy and non important due to the age difference between us. When he started High School I was in second grade.

Despite having a brother, I have no brother due to the eight years difference in age between us. We have literally gone 5 or more years at a time without communicating. I am thankful for a brief period where we grew tight directly before and after my mom died three years ago. But, other than that time, the relationship with my earthly brother has been strained to say the least.

Over my many years of life I have had a few very close friends and many “friends”. I have no clue what became of the many “friends” for they vanished years ago. For the most part I don’t know what became of my close friends either. In the course of developing relationships, I did have a couple of friends who I deemed “closer than a brother”. I did have, like David had for a season, a Jonathan.

I met my Jonathan in 1983 and from 1984-1987 I was blessed with a male friend who was indeed the closest thing to a brother I have ever experienced in this life. Unfortunately the relationship ended due to some marital issues he had. But, I will always cherish those few years for the incredible blessing it was to know what it means to have a brother.

I am fully aware that sisters have an entirely different relationship than brothers do. What sisters do when together in person or on the phone or on line is completely different than what brothers would do. I am deeply thankful for the incredible sister relationships this site has produced among some of you. I am also, I must confess, a wee bit envious that the same thing has not happened among the brothers here. I understand why it is so much more difficult and it has to do with the men are, but it is unfortunate none the less.

So, despite not having children and no true brothers, I feel I have done quite well in understanding the emotions, feelings and bond that those relationships provide. I honestly am thankful for all of you who do enjoy the honor of having kids and for those of you men especially who have brothers your own age that you are close to. But, I think I am most thankful for those of you who, like me, have forged friendships and relationships with a few brother/sister/friends which succeed in filling the void caused by not having children/siblings.

Thank you for allowing me to share this. I means a lot to be able to empty one’s heart on such a personal matter as this. You truly are my family in many respects and as such, I love you.

I have been a member of ChristianBlog.Com for 10 years, 6 months and 7 days.
I have published 2,287 blogs and 1,779 comments.
K Reynolds

As someone who has forged some incredible brother/sister/friend relationships here, I have to say I am very thankful as well. God never intended us to "do life" alone. That's true for most of us at least, I think. I suppose there may be someone occasionally who for one reason or another God may call to walk alone. I don't know, and if so, that is probably for a season. We're just not wired that way and even in the Bible it seems like people were constantly getting connected one way or another. Jesus certainly was connected with others, not just in public ministry but in his personal life as well.
In the Garden of Gethsemene, you notice he didn't go there alone... he brought his friends. Personally, I think it was for the same reasons we would do so... it made him feel less alone and gave him strength.

I was never left alone during my chemo infusions except very briefly when my husband would go get me some lunch... my chemo sessions including the oncology visit and getting approved generally lasted for five to six hours and you are encouraged to eat during that time. Most of the time, someone else would be with me while he was gone but once or twice I was completely alone for about 20 minutes or so. I can really relate to how much just having someone by your side helps.
In fact, even though some people insist they want to just come by themselves, they are strongly encouraged to reconsider it and chemo infusion wards are set up to accommodate visitors... for a reason. People just seem to do better when they are with their friends and/or family.

May God bless all of us with brother/sister/friends!


K :princess:

Kirk M

Yes, you have the Phil part right. I have never been a Tiger fan.

Pig tails? I haven't thought about them for quite awhile. I didn't know Bethy had them but I did know about K's "physic??" abilities, whatever that means.

Great mind pictures dear brother. Thanks.


Melisa Edmunds

Dear B2Y,

I am so blessed to have children! Infact this morning in my alone time I thanked God for my family. A wonderful husband, 4 beautiful babies! I am blessed!! I do understand about the friendship issue, however. My personality makes it difficult for me to be very "out going" and the friends I have are few and far between. I do have one brother. It has been almost 5 years since I have seen him, and I rarely talk to him. That leaves a big void. My mother is gone and in heaven, I know I will see her again someday but some days how I wish I could just talk to her. I have recently been adopted here by aliveintheword and the fatherly advice he gives me is invaluable! I guess what I am trying to say is that you're not alone. I am so thankful for this place. I don't have to worry about trying to please anyone, everyone here is so accepting. You, too have been so welcoming and warm. We're all connected here, and it is something that is very hard to explain to someone unless they are a part of it. Be blessed my friend, today, on Father's Day, and every day, because you are treasured!

With love,

Chuck Schultz

Dear B2Y,
I wanted to share with you my dealings on a similar issue, and my sisters dealings with the other. My father died Oct, 16, 2006 of Lung cancer. I have had 2 "Father's days" without him, and currently approaching the 3rd. I draw my hope from 1 Thessalonians 4:13-16 "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lord's own word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left till the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first." My first thought on this passage is how encouraging to know that "Death" and "Asleep" are used so interchangeably in this passage. To know that our loved ones are merely asleep is so nice to know. For me, it's a little harder though, because my Father was private on his relationship with God. He hardly attended church, but I know he exhibited signs of God's love. He was loving, and cared deeply for others. My hope is that he did know God and did accept Jesus, but in the end that is between him and God. I take from that how important it is to encourage those who are distant from God to get closer to him, and stay in his word daily. It was a lesson for me, and I try and take the most positive out of it, leaving behind the negative because that's where the negative belongs... behind.
My sister is also unable to have children of her own. Out of this situation came many blessings for her and her family though. She was able to adopt two children in my family whose Mother was severely immersed in drugs and all the predicaments that go along with it. Two children that were all but doomed, she has raised into two strong God fearing young men. How awesome, God's plan really turns out to be. Now, one is graduating high school and looking to join the law enforcement profession, and the other is attending college and looking to become a commissioned officer in the Air Force. She is currently in the process of adopting 3 more children coming from an almost identical situation outside of our family.
My point in sharing both of these stories with you as that there is always hope, and though God's plan can sometimes be hard to understand, it truly is a plan of Love and a perfect plan. I hope you find this comment to be uplifting and encouraging, and God Bless.

In the love of Christ,

Art Schnatterly

Brother B2Y,

How well I can relate. My brother, whom I've written about here, and three sisters differed widely in age. There was never anything like I see of the "sisterly" relationship that exists with my granddaughters.

My wife and i were blessed with two sons. I squandered much of their youth striving to "succeed" in the material world. There's huge failure in that success. Only in the last few years have I repaired those mistakes.

Like you, I've had many friends over the years, but few close friendships. And none of those lasted. I've been what is known as a "loner." For me, it was because I thought I was in control of my own destiny. For a bright guy, I've done so many foolish things.

CB has added so much to my life. Melisa's comments immediately above... well, I truly do love her as much as I do my sons. What a blessing she is in my life. But like my sons, she presents some interesting challenges, too! Kids... . bless 'em...

Brother, you've added so much to my life as well. Your common sense wisdom. Your way of dealing with people and sensitive issues. Like me (and this will surprise some here), you are introverted and introspective. You and I live in the same metro area, yet, we only "meet" here. Perhaps we need to find a way to gather at the B2Y Ranch! Methinks conversations would last far, far beyond our normal bedtimes. (We'll sip some of gracie's sweet tea)

We all have "holes" in our lives, dear brother. Some are hard to bear at times.

But through the power of the Spirit, we do fill them. Though you may feel these holes in your life, by friend, know that you fill the holes in thelives of others.

And you are loved by many here...

In philia...

Alive in The Word

K Reynolds

K :princess: is psychic? :eek:
Now that would be scary! Hmm... perhaps it is just because K :princess: has been dealing with children and families for a long, long time and is well acquainted with um... human behavior, reading between the lines and a little bit about the mental "junk" that goes on in our heads in regards to that. And then of course... there is always the Holy Spirit saying "Ask them about... " Remember that the next time I am a "thorn in the flesh".

Psychic indeed! LOL! What are people going to think if you start spreading rumors about me Alight and B2Y. :wink:


K :princess:

Art Schnatterly

whispers to anyone near

Did ya hear about K:princess:? She's... and besides that, she's... . AND...

Don't tell anyone!

Art Schnatterly

Alight, you stated what I feel about B2Y. His were among the first blogs I read here and I've been a loyal follower no for nearing 100 days.

Let's look at some facts here:

Brother B2 resides near the Gateway city of St Louis.

As of this moment, there are 10,839 registered members of this worlwide gathering and who knows how many visitors, regular or intermittent.

Brother B2 ministers regularly to us all. Quite well, may I add.

His compensation in Caesar's coin of the realm is none too great for what he brings to us. We can only hope he finds his rewards in more important ways.

So, in a way, Brother B2 is viewed as the resident pastor to a very large congregation with his message originating from the Gateway City. You done hit the nail smack on the head.

My friend alight, aren't we deeply blessed to have this man among us... gives the term "friend with benefits" a much more positive meaning.


Alive in The Word

p.s. K:princess: is a pretty darned good asset to all here as well! You whacked that nail twice, squarely!

Kirk M

Thanks to all of you for your kind comments, especially you three brothers. See, there is a brotherhood here at Christian Blog and not just a sisterhood.

I do thank each and every one of you, brothers, sisters or adopted children (Diva, alight must share his fatherly concern) and friends. I am humbled by your compliments and no, I have not published any books and no, I don't have a 10,000 member church but I am truly grateful to God for the joy of sharing my heart and the Word of God with those of you who get blessed by it.

Thank you.

Alison Stewart

My Dear Friend B2Y

When I opened up your blog there were two comments but I had to get some things sorted in my head before I added to them.

I went out for a walk with the dog and I was pondering on your blog. God spoke into my spirit with the words "He is like Abraham". B2Y the sons and daughters of your flesh that you desired are not here, but I believe God was saying that through your obedience and faithfulness to the Lord there are many many people who look up to you for wisdom and understanding. As you reach out your hand to give away that which God has given you, you enable others to reach out to God. I don't know how many lives have been touched by your commitment to God and to ChristianBlog, the only one that does is God. What I do know is that there are many here who would be thrilled to call you "Dad".


Trisha Rydalch

Thank you for your comment. I have experienced my walk to have similarities to what you've written and I think I just need to get my focus back on track. I have recently had to switch my morning prayer time around due to the kids getting out of school for the summer, so it just hasn't felt as intimate as I am use to. I am really thinking that has a lot to do with how I'm feeling. Again, your comment was greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Kirk M

Thank you Kbird for the incredible and heartwarming comment. It means so much to me to know that the time and work and effort put into writing these blogs and comments and messages is actually blessing others.

I do hope and pray your situation improves godssrvnt and if you stick around here it will!

thanks again everyone.


I try to refrain from leaving comments on B2Y's blogs; heretofore I have left only one. But since this blog and the ensuing comments have left me with tears streaming down my face, I am going to comment on this one.

The inability to have children is the biggest heartache of my life. The reason we never adopted is that we absolutely believed that God would heal me and give us children. For whatever reason, God chose not to do so. There are times when I battle with sadness about this, or envy of others who have a quiverfull, or anger at stories of those who abuse their children or worse. But whenever I start to feeling sorry for myself, I remember the words of a very wise woman. Years ago, when I was lamenting the fact that I couldn't have children, my mother said to me, "Honey, I know this is heartbreaking; but you have the most loving husband in the world. Do you have any idea how many women would give their right arm and their right leg to have a husband as loving as yours? What if God were to say to you, Ok, blest, you may have as many children as you want; but you would never have met B2Y?"

WHAM! That hit me right between the eyes. I have so much to be thankful for; and right behind the Lord Jesus Christ, the A#1 thing I am thankful for is that God gave me the perfect husband for me. No one could ask for any more. He blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. I have no right to ask for anything more.

Thank you to those of you who left comments; they have blessed us more than you know. You have blessed us more than you know and I pray God blesses you back for your loving hearts. Thank you, from the bottom of mine,

blest beyond words

Art Schnatterly

Dear blest,

Beside, not behind, every good man is a good woman. And so it is with the two of you.

The two of you show us what God intended marriage to be in Genesis 2.

And we are all blest that each of you has chosed to share portions of yor journey together with us.


Alive in The Word

Esther Teuka

Awww couldnt stop the tears when reading the blog and all comments
Man i love my CB family

Much blessings to you B2Y and Blest
Thank you for your encouragement and sharing in prayers
You both are a blessing