There was a time in my life when I was a robot, programmed to quote Bible verses while making everything “spiritual”. The sad reality is that while this is what the people saw, the man behind the persona was troubled, tormented and tired of the act. To this day, whenever I see Christian celebrities acting one way while living another, I get very upset and sometimes ill.
Many years ago I decided that there was not going to be any difference between the public and the private B2Y. I got rid of all my sharp looking clothes, prestigious looking Bibles and other props that turned me into nothing more than a spiritual version of the “wizard of Oz”. God knows how many times I cried out to Him in agony as I wrestled with the truth that in many respects I was a fraud.
I was trained to be one way in public and another in private. I was trained on how to act in such a way as to command respect and therefore get people to listen to me. I was taught that part of being an ordained minister is to carry yourself in public in a way that projected “dignified seriousness”. I received training on how to look and act like a “man of God”.
To be honest, I hated all that stuff 40 years ago and I still do. To me, it struck me as nothing more than a performer doing a show. That is why I decided a quarter of century ago to cease being someone I am not but rather strive to be the best at who I am. I refuse to conform to the demands or expectations of others just to win their respect.
If I were a religious man I would spend my life wearing a robe as a way of stating how little I care about what covers the outward man. In many respects I take great pride in wearing rejected damaged clothing that we sell out of our store. I own one suit which I have worn 1 time and that was to my mom’s funeral. Many years ago I lost my one and only sport coat. I have no idea where I would find a tie if I needed one.
If someone is unwilling to listen to me, respect me or love me for who I am than I guess I will be a recluse. I adamantly refuse to be someone I am not, play the part of someone I cannot really be or project an image of someone I despise in my heart. Although I try to not be a slob (I do actually shave and take showers etc. LOL), what you see when you meet B2Y is who and what he is; a guy who loves God and His Word and who hates pomp and religion.
Thank you for allowing me to share such deeply personal stuff. Thank you for continuing to read what I write and call me your friend even though I long ago tore down all my facades. I thank God for the freedom He has given us to be liberated from the straightjacket of religion and torment of trying to live up to everyone else’s standards.
[quote]...what you see when you meet B2Y is who and what he is; a guy who loves God and His Word and who hates pomp and religion. [/quote] May the same be true of all of us.
I have pretty much found that I am me however I am dressed. All to honor God, in whatever dress we are in, hopefully, in Jesus Christ. I never saw one (a facade). God Bless you brother.
God looks at the heart not the outward appearance. We may fool people with a false outward appearance of what and who we present ourselves as, but we will never fool God. So why bother with the stress of trying to present ourselves as something or someone we are not. It's better to just be who God made you to be.
Yet another Great Blog B2Y