My dear fellow CBers. I love you dearly. And some of you have been truly wonderful. Some of you are clueless, but that is not your fault. I was most definitely clueless before joining the ranks of the Widowed.
My faith will get me through. HA! All of you (my old self included) somehow think that being a Christian shields you from the pain of losing the Love of Your Life. It does not. Being a believer does not magically heal you and transport you to a land of No Pain.
I have had major major life altering surgery. Someone carved out my heart, my joy, my reason for living, and my hope for any future in this life. I am left with a shell of a body that has nothing to hold it together.
If you were to look up " people say to widows" on YouTube, you'd get so many videos you wouldn't believe it. But the number ONE response that we put into the 'garbage' category is "He/She is in a better place." That does NOT HELP. I know you think it does. It may help OLD widows, but young widows, those under say 85, want to punch you when you say this. But we just nod and smile and put you on our mental ignore list.
Why am I writing this now? At the "happiest" time of the year? Well, because you are supposed to be Christians. Christians are supposed to help people. I am hoping that this blog will help at least one person, one widow out there who is alone this Christmas. You know him. You know her. I am hoping you will reach out to him or her and invite them over for Christmas, for Christmas Eve, for a cup of coffee.
I am not writing any Christmas cards. I cannot bear the thought of signing my name alone.
I am not putting up any Christmas decorations. They are all packed away where Kirk left them. The first Saturday after my birthday, every year, when I came home from work, the entire house would be decorated. I cannot bear to even open the closet that houses all those decorations.
Trust me, this is one of the worst times of the year for the newly widowed. Perhaps The worst.
I am begging you, please: God has someone on your heart. He may be in your church congregation. He or she may be in your neighborhood. She may be your waitress. She is always smiling when she is out in public. He has gotten over this grieving thing. You know her. You know him. And you think she is fine. You think he is better. You are wrong. Oh, you dear dear DGI's (Don't Get It's). Of course we put on a mask in public. You don't see us in our homes, in our cars, in the rest room at work, sobbing, yelling, keening, whimpering, and begging the Lord to take away the pain, to answer the questions.
For those of you who are brave enough, I am including a link to a number of Christmas songs, altered by wids. If you are brave enough, you might get a chuckle. Or at least a glimpse into Our World. We have not lost our sense of humor; although it may have become a shade darker. So, only if you dare...
... OK< had to take out the link because someone posted another song with a uh, really bad word. So, if you want to see the initial songs, which are good and not bad, if you know what I mean, you'll have to send me a message, and I'll tell you where to find them!
We wids understand each other. We know the indescribable pain. We can't wait for the holiday season to be over. It is something we are dreading with a passion.
God's Word tells us to be all things to all men. Step out of the clouds and bless a widow/widower this Christmastime. And please, no platitudes. Just your presence.