A fight with Hopelessness, anxiety dream

Daniel 2:3 he said to them, "I have had a dream that troubles me and I want to know what it means." (NIV)

Knowingly and unknowingly Anxiety dreams are an integral part of my being. I almost remember every difficult situation in my life, and the associated anxiety dream. The relationship between my dreams and me started in my early teens and it contitues till today.

The project in which I was working on went through a massive shutdown and 100s of people were impacted due to it. It all happened all of a sudden within a span of a week, with no prior warning or information. It was a terrible shock to everyone around me. People are still recovering from the shock, it felt like a big natural calamity that took place around us, shattering the teams. Not sure if there was anything that could have been better. But it is what it is.

Most of us anticipated this last Friday and we left office prepared of the worst situation. Weekend, my friend called my to Washighton DC for the Cherry blossom festival. I thought I will go there, so I can be away from my anxieties. Interestingly, my dream caught me, I was so shocked because I have not had one in the past 3 years. After a longtime, I saw my old enemy in my dream. It was the fear of enemy chasing me and my run life.

Monday was not much action and Tuesday finally disaster struck, people were all in tears and broken. I did not go to work, because I know I will not be able to see what was going around. Wednesday, was the day of reconciliation of what was remaining of the disaster. I added all the people whom I worked with in LinkedIn, I went to work to meet the few people who were still left over. Anyways, I had decided to move on.

By God's grace all the members in my team had other opening in other projects. I had an interview for my next assignment of Thursday, I prepared for it. My mind was anxious and it kept thinking, thinking and speaking. I prayed God and sometimes in Tongues to fill me in with His spirit. Finally and Prayerfully I gave the interview, on Thursday and by God's Grace it went well. I am waiting to hear back on the next steps. I have to pack and move to a different location, once again.

That evening, I went to my gym and had my personal training session, and it is so difficult and I was feeling so tried to do it. But still managed to complete it. Thanks to my trainer. Interestingly, last night I had the dream I saw my old enemy, but I saw that he was getting weaker and smaller. He does not have the strength to hurt me. Finally till he vanished and I can no longer see him.

That was an amazing testimony for me. This is the first time in my life, when I have had a very quick recovery from my anxiety. I know I am not fully out of the situation, but still I know God is in control and will not let me down.

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 Deepa N (@deepaanne)
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