When I look at what am I doing all my life, I am earning hard to make sure that my body gets good food, good clothing, my body is safe in a shelter (home), make sure that it is healthy and does not fall sick, it is safe and not exposed to heavy sun or wind or rain or snow or cold weather. I spend so much of my effort, day and night to take care of this body. It is not my love for my body that I am doing all these. Then, I ask myself what do I achieve by doing all these? I keep my body healthy and nourished, so that I can go out, meet people, interact with them, understand many things, learn many things, keep my mind is active. It is not that I love myself, that I want to be social. Again, what do I achieve by learning so many things, by learning good and bad? End of the day I am increasing my nearness to God, the revelation of Spiritual relationship with God. What does it bring in, it brings in a deep inner satisfaction. As I am learning I am facing challenges and I as I overcome these I am increasing in my Spiritual relationship with God. I just want to know and make sure that He loves me.
What is important to me, is not my body which God created out of dust, not the wisdom which came as part of the first sin, it is the Spirit which came to me as part of Christ's love on the cross, which is growing inside me. I don't work all the day to feed my body, or to gain knowledge, but to increase in the spiritual relationship with the Lord. This Spiritual relationship I cannot achieve by closing myself in a dark room, and sitting idle. I have to walk by His calling. I have to follow Him. This body is all that I have with which I can serve Him, and I use my mind to interpret whatever is happening around me, so that I do what He is telling me to do.
On the otherside when I dont take care of my body, it falls sick, it pains, it hurts, there is no energy I cannot move, I cannot cook my food, my mind gets sick. When I am in pain I call on to Him, He comes to me and delivers me out of the pain. Once I am out of my pain, I get on my feet and be active, and meet more people, learn many new things.
As I walk there are many things God guides me and corrects me. I can be wrong in my understanding, wrong in my thoughts, wrong in my feelings or my emotions. So irrespective of how crucial and important my ideas, views and values are, I always submit to God saying, please correct me if I am wrong. I might be getting depressed out of my ignorance, I might be have made a promise to someone which I might not be able to fulfil, I might have planned to be at someplace which I might not be able to make it, I might be trusting the wrong friends, I might be going to the wrong place, I might be talking to the wrong person, someone might be leading me wrong, someone might be teaching me the wrong thing. There are so many possibilities that I am wrong, but I always tell Him, God please correct me.
I have to be ready to correct my stand if it is wrong, at any point. If I have to ask sorry I am ready to ask, if I have to reconcile with someone I have to do that, if I have to stand firm in my decision, I have to do that. I am not perfect, so I always call on to Him, who is perfect so He can guide me. Its just the Passion to move more closer to Him and to know Him better, and be like Him.
Sometimes it takes me sometime to realize my mistakes, but still I will listen to Him. I will slowly move to toward Him. He is my goal, my destiny and my everything, everything else my work, my thought, my deeds, my values, my emotions, my feelings is something that leads me to Him.
Thanks Deepa for sharing your experience with God!
If we should seek Him with all that we got He shall surely give us all things that He's got instore for us.
Be blessed forever