Last night when I was sitting alone in my room, looking at the darkness night outside and listening to my gospel music. After around 2 hrs I stopped the music and started to listen to my heart saying "I want to be me"
Looking back at those words "I want to be me", and reflecting back in the days of my life, where I was in situations when I ran back to my solitude and to the loneliness, with my heart saying "I want to be me."
As a child, when my younger sister was born, when the world told me you have to be a big sister, my heart ran to the solitude away from the world saying"I want to be me."
When in school, I wanted to play, chat, have fun and joy with my friends, but when the teacher punished me for not copying what is on the board to my notebook, my heart ran in to say "I want to be me."
When I wanted to do things my way and not the way it was done conventionally, but when my family and my friends chose to tell me that I am wrong, my heart ran in to say "I want to be me."
When I wanted to be strong, independent, and be the best at work, but my managers and colleagues said you are weak and have be dependent, my heart sank and said "I want to be me."
When I wanted to love and be loved at home, but found only tons of enmity, jealousy, ego around, my heart sank within me and said "I want to be me."
When I walked alone, with everything fallen apart, searching for the me, the truth, the purpose, the life, and the creator, my heart heard a voice saying "You are mine"
Isaiah 43:1 But now, this is what the LORD says-- he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. (NIV)
When I sat down, to read and understand the Bible, and when my heart said "Lord, teach me your ways"
Psalm 86:11 Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.(NIV)
Now, when I see that my friends loved my paintings and decorated their wall, or fireplace with my painting, my heart ran back to God to say "Thank you Lord for making me"
When I see that my family and friends, love me, from a distance though for what and who God has made me to be, I see my heart be glad with Joy and turn God saying "Thank you God for being with me.. Love you God.."