Not trusting the Holy Spirit is as bad as trusting the Serpent..
The first alarming message that came during my initial Christian days.. is "I am not trusting the right one"..
Acts 7:51 You stiff-necked people! Your hearts and ears are still uncircumcised. You are just like your ancestors: You always resist the Holy Spirit!
Somehow due to my past experiences I had literally stopped trusting.. and I had made myself so lonely and had created a shell around me.. my heart had grown hard and I was not ready to listen to anyone.. and keep myself away from people.. i could literally not forgive even the small mistakes (today I know it is small, but then it was so big).. I used to be like everything happening in the world is nonsense.. just leave everything and only for God.. and try to do whatever is acceptable to Him.. and I want to be so disciplined that I just want to hold Him and Him only..
Not sure from when but the Spirit from inside started guiding me.. But without realizing that it is the Holy Spirit guiding me I refused to trust.. I thought it was the temptation.. I was literally fighting within me to hold myself from being what the Spirit is telling me to be.. holding myself from being a very loving, caring and a joyful person filled with life..
But then later by His grace.. He made me realizethat it was the Holy Spirit whom I was not trusting to because of my stubberness.. I was so broken from inside.. I repented and I tried so hard to correct all my mistakes.. In a way i was filled with fear of God.. my heart was crying that Holy Spirit told me this but I refused to obey.. I was not sure how to revert what has passed away.. the days which could have been joyful due to obedience to Spirit.. passed away with loneliness..
Psalm 51:11 Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
But onething I know is God forgave me and He ensured to keep safe His Blessings for me.. He has not taken away His Presence or His Spirit from me.. but from that day forward.. I really try hard to trust and be go good tothe people whom God brings in into my life.. be it at work, or at home or any place.. I really don't want them to be hurt by my hard feelings.. I try hard to forgive the people who are around me even for their minor mistakes.. and when there are situations when I have to point out the mistakes they do.. I really try to pray to God.. so that the hatred I have for the evil does not turn out into hatred for people..
Miraculosly God is beyond all my mistakes.. now, after so many years when I turn back and look.. I really think that God has planned taking my mistakes into considerarion..
Acts 15:8 God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us.