To walk with Crutches, I had to learn to pull my body up holding on to the crutch and move forward. This act needed more strength on my upper body. I always think, when I was a child I learnt to walk holding on to my parents. Now as a grownup, God is teaching me to hold on to a lifeless stick (Crutch) to learn to walk. Sometimes I look at God and I wonder, what does this mean? Why are you making me to hold on to this and learn to walk? What are you trying to teach me with this?
Now after I started to walk with my feeeeeeet. I look at the act of pulling my whole body up with my inner strength, but holding on to the crutch, seems to be be teaching me something. Its the ability to pull my self out of sinfulness holding on to the word of God.
In most crucial times, like for my work assignement or my visa, when the situation is so pressurizing and I am anxious about what to do next, I always pray to God saying, "God its just you, just tell me what you want me to do, I will just do as you want." But I always receive silence as the response. The most difficult thing is to understand what His silent means. Based on my interpretations of His silence, God lets me choose what I want and guides me based on the what is the goal to which I am marching. Interestingly, He has made sure that He brings in victory.
Sometimes it is hard to understand and hard to fight, because all I have is my Bible, the word of God, and the Spirit seems to be silent. I am all by my self with just the God of Word and my problem in hand. Like the Crutch and my broken foot. Now, God wants me to Hold on to the promise of God and the Word of God, and pull myself out of the situation.
Interesting part is, Word of God is strong enough to support my hold, when I try to pull my being out of the trouble. Sometimes it looks like a lifeless Crutch which is so frustrating, and tiring. But if you can pull yourself up, then you know that it is designed to be light and strong for me to pull my body up, when my foot is not able to bear my weight.
we only feel the presence of the Spirit when we are joyful, but when we are into trouble we seldom feel the presence of the Spirit. Because our heart is already filled with doubts, fear, frustration and agony. There is no space for the Spirit of Hope, Peace or Joy in our heart. Now the only way out is to hold on to the Word of God, and try to pull our selves out of the doubts, fear, agony and frustration. Slowly as we pull ourselves, the heart will be clear of the pains and slowly the Spirit of Joy, Hope and Peace will start filling into our Heart.