Everytime I extend my hand to have a new relationship, I make myself open to being hurt emotionally. I really try hard to find the answers to the questions, why it hurts deep within, how it hurts within us, how to stop the hurt deep within us. One thing I know is there are certain situations which we are not prepared for and which are so new to us, makes us feel move away from our safety anchor with our Lord and makes us feel hurt emotionally. Getting back to the safe anchor with the Lord is very important. Hold on and Hang on.
After being alone for more than ten year after my separation and divorce, to be in a new relationship with my boyfriend feels so good, when we are spending time with each other. But as we extend our relationship and meet more people from his past relationships, including his daughter from his previous marriage. A feeling of uncertainty filled in my heart, and it took me out to the lonely place deep within me. I was trying hard to hold my heart to find my way, but still things seemed so difficult. Last Sunday, I was not able to sleep and was reading the Bible trying hard to get back to my safe place, from my solid ground. My boyfriend was asking me what happened honey. But I did not know the answer, because I was fighting the uncertainties deep within me. I ended up being grumpy with him. I was praying to God to come out of my uncertainties. It was hard, I wan fighting with it for almost a week.
But then again during the Friday evening, he was late to pick me up. I just reached my peak of uncertainties, and I got so grumpy and expressed my annoyance to him. I was so tired and hungry. I ate some food and took my Bible and started reading it on the couch. I was watch the dad (my boyfriend) and his teen daughter do things together around our home as I was reading my Bible. The gentle voice of the Lord was calming me down. My boyfriend came by side and playfully poking me, he said he was going to setup WII on the TV. I told him just do what you want. I just did not know how it worked, it was just a few minutes, I went upstairs and was watching the dad and daughter play WII and then we kind of started getting along, three of us together. It really felt so good. All three of us as a family to be there. We went bowling together as a family and it felt so blessed to be together,
This is so important for us in our relationship, that we learn to grow from two to many. Leaving our insecurities, especially me from thinking about being lonely when he has someone who is his near and dear one with him. I am so thankful to God that He is strengthening me and helping me grow. We went to a Christian convention as a family this morning, and it really felt so blessed.
I need you prayers to be able to get past the situations in our new relationship.