Matt. 6: 31 34 Do not worry then, saying, 'What will we eat? or What will we drink? or What will we wear for clothing?' "For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (NASB)
This passage was one which always caused personal angst. Being diagnosed with a major anxiety disorder and panic attacks, I asked the Lord many times how He could command this of me. It really seemed 'unfair.' Several inquiries were made with no answer. Finally, only as God can speaking to my heart. The Lord made clear He knew the difference between a bio-chemical anxiety disorder and worry of paying bills, money for food and clothes, roof over my head, etc.
Comforting only as Christ can in His arms; then a rebuke. I may not worry over bills, food, shelter, and clothing. The big item is concern of genetics and family history having lived decades with major anxiety and depressive disorders. God convicted me of great worry, ending up like my bi-polar uncle.
He became redundant at 53 losing his job. Wife divorcing him after 3 major psychotic breaks from reality and hospital stays. She lived with a person suffering a chronic lifelong disorder. As a non-Christian, there was no desire to endure any longer. At 79, now in a one bedroom non-profit half-way house. Living with a towel over the TV so the CIA or Dept. of Homeland Security cannot monitor him. The real concern if lucid is the NSA and GCHQ.
The Lord made clear if I trusted, obeyed, praised, and did not give up on life or Him. God controlled the outcome, all in His hands. There will continue to be days I cannot get out of bed, curtains drawn and depression so deep, unable to think. In those times, call out to Him.
Psa. 34:17 The righteous cry, and the LORD hears And delivers them out of all their troubles.
This past week was I tempted to give up like my uncle in 1988? To cease taking medications, live on the streets for two years, and then wander the remaining days of life with no purpose? Absolutely. What keeps me from 'throwing in the towel?' The love of God in Christ Jesus. He holds me, so I will not 'take the easy way out.' An example all studies show becomes a template, continuing to pass sins of the generations to my children on to the 3rd and 4th.
There are a few family members who call seldom. No acquaintances for superficial conversations and the only true friends ... several of you via cyber-space on CB. For this you have no comprehension what it means to me. If I gave up, what would be the message to God? My belief is the same if as a Christian I am starving. There is some bread unattended, no one is looking take and eat. I was at the door step of death, yet disobeyed a commandment of God. 'Thou shalt not steal.' What have I told the Lord? I do not trust JEHOVA JRIEH, God is my provider, meeting needs in His way and time.
I become like the children of Israel saying, 'why did you bring us out onto the desert to die?' Then God provides manna. I complain about heavenly food so how about quail? Even in the deepest pit of darkness, God is JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH present though even though I sense nothing? My senses do not matter. I must train my soul to be subjected in Oneness with Christ to my spirit in the most silent of times and darkest storms. Then my trust will not be shaken in Him.
Yes, God is teaching me much about not projecting current life situations into worst possible outcomes. Do I know the future? No, only He as EL-ROI Whom I trust. If I were to give practical advice to individuals considering marriage to another suffering a major lifelong chronic illness:
- If God has said 'no' to healing by medical or a divine intervention, place your heart before Him prepared to remain a eunuch for the Kingdom. As Joni Eareckson, until married and husband knowing she would never walk.
- If you are not completely convinced of willingness to sacrifice all for the one to be your spouse regardless of situation, avoid marrying with hurt of a damaging split.
- If one you are married and your spouse becomes disabled significantly. If unable or unwilling to allow strength and empowerment of the Holy Spirit to love unconditionally; if no children spare both and especially the one disabled years of hostility and resentment at their now limited state. A seperation may be in order to avoid a horrible situation turning into an abusive one.
Yes, I know Christ commands divorce only for porneia (repeated sexual immorality). What does the afficted one do year after year with verbal, emotional, physical abuse, and no abatement though praying fervently? The whole subject of seperation and divorce are not taken in a cavalier fashion.
The caveat,' are we ready to allow God's love in Christ to be lived regardless of circumstance? If you suffer chronic life disorders and are 'abandoned,' remember JEHOVAH-SHALOM, the Lord is your peace and will never forsake you.
Deut. 31: 6 Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.
When days of inabilityto muster strength to get out of bed, always remember to be thankful and sing praise to The Lord Most High. Lift the Name of Jesus above all and pray with tears and deep groaning before the Lord if in great pain. His Spirit knows what our heart requires more than we do.
I Thess. 5:18 in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.
Always be mindful, Christ is our peace Who toredown all barriers between us and The Father. No matter if conditions are wonderful or 'rock bottom.' Sing praise and rejoice for a day not far away, we shall behold him face to face.(Eph. 2:14, Eph. 5:19, I Cor. 13:12)
Phil. 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God
Attributions: All Scripture References New American Standard Bible (NASB) Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation