A few thoughts in no particular order which might bring a bit of levity (I could use it since my last subject lovingly took me to the woodshed a few times :-)
Said to my kids, If Jesus was speaking on the mount today; it wouldn't be called the Sermon on the Mount, it would be the Text or Tweet on the Mount since we don't really talk to each other anymore.
Saw my 11 year old deeply into his electronic game and commented; It looks like the relationship with your video game is going well! (He frowned but played on!)
Wish I could figure out how to put photo pictures into blog posts and the front cover. Even if they don't have anything to say, they'll look better!
When choosing style versus substance or quality versus quantity, Always pick style and quantity so you look good at the all you can eat buffet.
Put Disney or Christian labels on any the item you want to sell or buy. Then you can count on the price being five times higher!
With all the Christian CD's, stores, TV, etc... I can't figure out why my toaster won't raise its lever or come forward to make a commitment. It's next to our Christian radio and hears the gospel every day!
Picked up both my daughter and son whom each immediately began asking for this and that, this and that ... Finally I said, You two make me feel like a vending machine. My son replied, at least you're a loving, feeling vending machine.
Asked my 18 year old daughter why she has a cell phone. Puzzled she replied why? I said, Alexander graham Bell invented phones to talk to each other over distances ... I never see you call anyone.
When reaching exasperation with everyone in the house, I'll say, Think I'm going to the office to invest in my relationship with the computer, at least it doesn't talk back and usually does what I ask it too...
When my 11 year old starts talking continuously or asking for something and won't stop (even though told to stop multiple times), I'll smile and say, Has it's been 2 years or 3 since you left Babylon? (He does smile back!)
When I get on a roll as a babbling brook or rambling man and finally realize it, I tell my family, Sorry forgot to breathe and get oxygen. Must be why I'm light headed and won't stop talking.
When my 18 year old daughter asks as we drive down a busy highway, to look at a text message on her phone from someone I don't know or have a clue what it's about ... my reply is, I prefer not to kiss the Mac truck coming towards us or run up the tail pipe of the car in front ... can it wait?
When I or someone else gets a too demanding or cranky in the household, I say Think I just saw some blue monkeys flying around.
I asked my daughter if she'd like to join me in going to my favorite state. She asked, Colorado? I said No, the largest state with a really long river running through, it's next to Texas and is called denial.
How do you get rid of those errors on making a blog tag? Even when I try to remove or delete them ... they end up saying either this guy is really, really old" or "he has no clue what he's doing!
On another "snow day" this past week (kids now have 5 to make up), I said, "At least we get to have quality time together, whether you like it or not!" My daughter went to her room to face book and my son got on the Wii ...
Hope this brought some smiles to your face! Remember as Bob The Tomato and Larry The Cucumber say on VeggieTales ©,
God made you special and loves you very much!