I am not Merry, my spirit's not bright.
I am not in the mood to hear silent night.
All is not what it was before.
I am so sad, you're not here anymore.
The songs of the season all make me cry.
I try to fake joy, but I hate to lie.
I don't feel the same and I ache to be free.
This world is too painful, lord deliver me.
I long to feel whole and to weep no more.
I wish things to be like they were before.
All I want for Christmas I can not receive.
My boy will not be home and I will grieve.
ashes sit on the mantle where his stocking should be.
How do you celebrate when that's your reality?
So don't tell me to cheer up, don't make me cover my pain.
Don't feel sorry for me or think I'm insane.
Just love me right where I am today.
Learning to cope and finding my way.
By Deborah Pinnell
Thanks Deborah for sharing your poem !
I am not going to tell you that it will be alright, shattered hope and broken hearts.
Dreams of the distance past, where it seems like it would forever last.
I recalled that he was content, and I believe even heaven sent.
He was just lent to me, and even though it was just a little while, now I can't offer a smile.
Perhaps while I gather my thoughts and feelings, I'll receive my healings.
Be blessed forever
I was thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were coping with this season.
Lord thank you that you continue to little by little and step by step comfort and heal Deborah. Father give her strength for today and renew that strength tomorrow .