Last Saturday my friends son called me and said my sonhad overdosed and that the coroner had picked him up. That is how he told me. At the same moment at the other end of the house my husband was being told by the police of his death. Nothing can prepare you for the heartache that follows that kind of news. I had to call my daughter Mallory on her job and tell her, she lives 3 hours away. Then i had to call my 19 yr old daughter who is in rehab and tell her on speakerphone with a counselor along side of her 4 hours away.Beaceause it was a holiday weekend an autopsy could not be performed until Tuesday. We buried him on friday.
Our family has been tormented with the addiction of two children. My son for 4 years and daughter for last 2. They were brought up in a christian home with two parents and both were brilliant students with great ablilities in art. So much potential. So much struggle for us all. My son has been to rehab 3 times in four years. He had 8 1/2 months sober. He went down to the front of his church on Sunday and asked for prayer. He was struggling to stay clean and just felt he couldn't make it on his own. By tuesday he called and said he needed to return to the halfway house in Texas. He knew he was going to go back to drugs if he didn't get back into care. He had been in Tennesee with a friend from rehab. I sent the money and expected him to leave for Texas on Wed. morning. Instead he came back near our hometown to an old friends apartment that was still into drugs. When i discovered he had made that choice. I asked him to not call or text me again. He had made his decsion and i would not support him in it. That was the last txt i sent you always remember the last thing you said or txted in this case. Now i will never hear from him again. It was tough love. Now it is tough to live with. That message was wed. night. He messaged me four more times. Swearing he was gonna do good and find a church and attend meetings and make me proud. I never responded.
In my mind he would hit bottom call me and we would get him back on track and the cycle that has become my normal routine would continue. But now he is gone. So much pain. It has been a difficult week, but God has been faithful in his mercy He has given me so much good to focus on in the midst of the storm. I have hope in heaven and believe that our merciful God has him in his arms in heaven. It is just so hard not to have him here. I am grateful for the 22 years i was blessed to be Mitchell's mama. It wasn't always bad. We had many moments and memories that we treasure now.
Mitchell took light and humor into every dark place he went. They told me at rehab that when a client leaves they never want to see them again because that means they messed up. But they couldn't help but see Mitchell again because he was such an encourager to all those around him there. I read his letters from so many people and the ongoing theme was "you helped me so much, you are such a kind and sweet person, you were always there when i needed to talk" One lady said she had decided to quit after two days but then Mitchell came that day and talked her into staying. A stranger his first day there and he was already lifting up those around him. I take comfort in knowing that even though he walked through some dark hard times, he did not lose his heart for people or for the Lord.
I appreciate prayers as we still have a child who has a long way to go to healing. Grief can only add to her struggle right now. I know that her life just as Mitchell's life is in God's hand and i surrender to His will, but i desperately want a different outcome. I do not want to bury two of my beloved children. Her name is Jennifer. Please pray for her to be free from addcition and to use this tragedy as a reason to do better than Mitchell did. Thank you for the prayers. It is holding me together right now.
You, your husband and Jennifer ... whole family will be in my prayers. I wish I had words to offer as comfort, I can only tell you of my deep sorrow for your loss. All your family will be before the Father in my prayers.
My heart aches and weeps for you and your family's tragic loss; I will be continuing my prayers for all of you.
Rest assured that Our Precious Heavenly Father will "always" be there for you and yours; He will never leave you nor forsake you.
In Christ's Love,
I echo the comments of the previous saints. My heart aches for you and family for I to almost lost a daughter due to her living with a drug dealer who controlled her.
Our prayers at CB are ascending as a sweet aroma to our heavenly Father who has your family in the palm of his hand for your family his precious to him.
Deborah.. ahh my friend
Heavenly Father and Eternal God I lift Deborah, her husband, Mallory and Jennifer to you today and ask that you carry them through this. Father we ask for particular strength for jennifer as she battles the demons that ensnare her.
Father I have no words, so I leave this broken family at your Throne of Grace.
Prayers of healing hearts for you and your family. Mitchell no longer has to battle his demons, and I know God has heard our prayers for your daughter to shed light to a new path.
I am so sorry for your loss, and pray for you, your husband and daughters. My heart goes out to you across the waves.
You know that the Lord is with you, He weeps with you, and He knows the depths of your suffering which most of us cannot understand.
He will carry you through this sad time, He will mend your brokenheartedness. I pray that your daughter Jennifer will allow herself to be carried along with you in His hands, and to receive wisdom and strength from the Holy Spirit to live the right way.
All my condolences,
No words can truly convey what my heart is feeling. I ask God's protection over you and your family. Lord, please bring your perfect peace into this situation and heal the hurting hearts. Amen
Sister Deborah, may the Lord continue to help you and your daughter Jennifer in the fight against what they hold over your family and for so long. I bind all the works of the enemy , the spirit of addiction to drugs that wants to kill, to steal and destroy this Christian home in the name of Jesus. I ask God to send angels to fight the battle for them and with them ,so the victory of God will come upon them and their daughter.
I ask for comfort and for peace and healing of grief and pain for the loss of her son. May the Lord grant more than she needs and may the Lord also guide them in the days and weeks ahead, in Jesus name Amen.
Will keep you in prayer
Your sister in the Lord, Hwa Silverpen