What a blessing this was to me today. I have been through so much turmoil over the past few years and in the last few months, I have completely lost faith. I have been shaking my fists at God, even, ashamedly, cursing Him. I felt he turned His back on me so many years ago. I have always had a strong faith but lately I cannot tolerate even the mention of His name. I have lost my entire family over the past 2 years, parents, siblings, children, everyone. My father died when I was young, my mother recently died from cancer, my connection back home was my mother so when I lost her, I lost all contact with my siblings. I have one child on drugs whom I don't know where he is and haven't seen him in years. I often don't even know if he is alive. My other child recently moved out to live with her father and refuses to see me or talk to me. I went through a horrific divorce (due to domestic violence) that lasted 7 grueling years and cost every penny I had including my retirement account, just to get custody of my daughter and now her father has her convinced he was the victim in the entire thing and that I have been lying to her since she was 6, despite all the police reports and court records I have. I have been a Girl Scout leader, dance mom, sunday school teacher, and am close to getting my degree to be a family counselor. I have given everything that is in me to my children, and those troubled kids I have picked up along the way. I was raised to cling to family, and now I have none and I'm lost. I have been considering suicide for quite some time now, and came incredibly close once, only the safety on the gun prevented it. I don't doubt His existence, it just seems that He has forgotten me. I am still bitter and I know this won't be an easy transformation for me, but today I began looking for something, anything, that give me hope again. And I found this blog about the enemy sneaking up from behind. Although it seems to me that my enemy is right in my face in a full onslaught attack, I acknowledge there may be a great deal of events happening that I am not aware of. And maybe, just perhaps, God hasn't forgotten my name after all.