He Loves Me It all started when I was seven. I believed almost anything or anyone for that matter. I listened to what I was told and wondered why I had to obey, no matter how felt about it, just ask my mother. One day, in a class room full of many other children. I was told a story of a man who came from heaven down to earth and chose to give His life for me. I listen to that story with wonderment and knew that I wanted know Him, as the teacher said "to live in side my heart",so I prayed with the teacher to let Him come and live in my heart and help me to "be a good little lady" as my grandpa would say. The moment I prayed I knew, He now lived inside my heart. I had joy like I had never had before and a peace that covered me like a warm blanket. Days turned into months, and years went by; with Him walking along side me, helping me and guiding me and loving me. Then one day I walked into the hall of my high school and found that no one wanted to my friend because of Him and so I went home and said to Him... "I cannot take you to school with me, people do not like you and I need friends, "you understand right?" and I turned and walked away. He stood there knowing that I need Him now more then ever in my life, and it broke His heart to see me walk way from Him. But it was my choice and so He let me go. I found this new "I can do anything I want" feeling about the things that I knew were wrong. I could still hear His voice faintly in the back of my mind, but I wanted to be liked and, just as I told him, I needed friends. I found a group of kids that liked me so well, that they let me smoke and drink and watch grown up movies with them. Oh! It was fun...I think...after awhile it didn't feel so fun, but hey I'm almost an adult, why can't I do as I like, It's my life! From time to time I'd think about talking to Him and telling Him about my life and how I felt so lost without Him and oh how my heart missed Him so. But after a few more tries of taking Him to see my friends, I once again left Him at home, waiting to talk with me and love on me. Then one day I thought I loved someone and gave myself away, I thought for sure it was real love, it even felt like love, but I soon found that it was any thing but real. I watched as my heart broke into tiny little pieces, I tried to pick them up and put it back together, but it was no use. Nothing I could do was going to mend my heart. So I put them way into my pocket, to keep them from anymore hurt or pain. I walked around feeling like I was even more worthless and unloved then I ever did before. The shame and guilt that jabbed at my very broken heart, Relentlessly reminding me of what I had done. I thought I wanted to die, because there was no reason to live, now that I had given the only thing worth of any value, to someone I hardly knew and that really didn't love me after all. Time has away of making you forget about a lot of things, even the one that truly loves you and accepts you just the way you are. I had all but forgotten what it felt like to be loved. Then one night, a few years after high school was over, I was alone in my room and out, of now where, I just started humming a song from my childhood, I m my beloveds and he is mine, His banner over me is love and as I did, I could feel someone in the room. At first I looked and nothing was there, but then, there it was again, I felt... something I had not felt in years. I almost couldn't believe it. I thought maybe I was just being weird and went on with what I was doing, it wasn't even five minutes later and I knew that someone was in my room. As I turned around tears started to run down my face and before I had time to think, I fell to my knees and felt the deepest, truest,and realest love that I had ever felt. As I closed my eyes I saw Him, I saw the face of love, of grace, of true beauty. I started telling Him I was so sorry for everything I had done wrong. I began to beg Him to forgive me, but to my amazement, He stood there with a smile on His face, He extended His hand to me and drew me close to Him and said, "I have always been with you and have always loved you. there was never a time I was not with you, or that I haven't loved you. His embrace was so pure and gentle,so life giving it almost took my breath away. I took a step back and as the tears kept falling, I reached into my pocked where the pieces of my heart lay aching and almost too tender to touch. The frail pieces rested in the palm of my hand, then I looked up at Him and without words handed the tiny pieces to Him. He cupped them in His hands and softly blew on them as they laid almost lifeless. After a moment or two He handed to me what looked like a heart, but with deep scars still visible,and placed it, not in my pock it where I had gotten it from, but into my flesh. At that moment I felt a weight lift and a joy that I couldn't put into words. As tears once again fell from my cheeks, I felt His hand touch my chin, He lifted my eyes to meet His own and said to me " you are my daughter and I have bought you with a price. I laid down my life for you, and you, my precious one, are forgiven. I shed my blood to pay for your sins because I loved you and wanted to have you as my very own, YOU ARE MINE". His words seemed to melt the the acke of my heart way. I felt the place where He had put my heart and looked at Him. Before I could speak, He softly said, "I have started the healing process of your heart and, as you walk with me, we will work on it together, healing will come. Remember to look to me when you are feeling alone, look to me when you are afraid, I am always with you." I didn't know what to say, there were no words that could come close to the emotion I felt, tears kept flowing from my eyes as I stood before Him. I once again looked into the face of pure light, pure love, pure truth. He leaned towards me and softly kissed my forehead, then whispered "I love you" then I looked up at Him, and knew that I could never love anyone more them Him. He was love itself. I whispered back to Him "Jesus,I love you . I fell asleep that night in His blanket of peace. I knew that I was forgiven and my past was just that, the past. He paid for it all.
Welcome aboard Sister Hispianolady and thank you for sharing this journey with the Lord-He Who heals-amazing! Looking forward to fellowship with you and God Bless you richly! Dave
Hi - when I read your blog I thought this person must write stories to be so expressive. A poignant testimony.
Today I have to attend a meeting which I am not looking forward to but I feel at peace because I KNOW jesus will be there protecting me. I love Him so.
thank you all for your warm welcome. I've been here for a while now, but had to find the time to post a blog. I do have other stuff. so when I get a moment I'll post again. I love writing about the Love of Jesus Christ and what He's love is to me.
Yes, our God loves us so much even when we leave Him or ignore Him for the world. He hurts in his heart when we reject Him but He has never give up on us until the end.
Thanks for sharing your life journey and your discovery of His love. Do enjoy your time here. Continue to share and I look forward to your future blogs.
Most welcome too, Sister Hispianolady
From Hwa Silverpen