What In the world happened?

For a few years I was a regular here at CB and tragedy hit my home/my life... . my wife died of cancer. I loved her so much. I got angryat God for taking her away from me. OK, I admit it... . I was so upset with God that I turned away from Him. Not completely of course... . I'm stupid not crazy! Tonight I wrote my son-in-law because my only daughter will not speak to me. I remarried! My wife now is my best friend. She makes me happy again. I write this blog with one of her three cats laying on my arm... . purring. I wasn't a cat person but now I'm snuggled up to a cat!

Tomorrow I will go put new flowers on my wife's grave. I've been putting pinkones (Brest cancer) but now I want to put flowers according to the seasons. I found some beautiful fall flowers and am excited to make a change. I emailed my son-in-law and told him what I was going to do. If they had any objections I would not do it. He may answer me orhe may not. He loves my daughter and I'm grateful for that.

Anyhow, im still alive! I am still going to church. I still read the scriptures. I still pray. I wish I were back loving God with all my heart. Im not there yet. My daughter has hurt me so much on top of my wife dying. We did not raise her that way so I believe she will forgive me for remarrying one day. Until then I will struggle. It's been two years since she lasttalked to me.

Now I have another cat purring up next to me! I'm a dog person! What in the world has happened to me? Maybe I have gone crazy!