The divorce rate for Americans is outrageous high. The divorce rate among Christians is as high as for non-believers. Commitment is more then a piece of paper issued by the government. Yet once a couple enters into that legal marriage with a license issued by the government, they must honor that. The New Testament says let your yes be yes and your no be no. Just because one or both parties in a marriage feel they do not have a covenant marriage, they are still married in the eyes of God because of that paper. It is a vow, a commitment, a covenant, and a promise. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. We would not need a legal marriage license or any legal contracts between humans if everyone let their yes be yes and their no be no. I believe it is possible for a couple to have that level of commitment without the legal paper. A dear friend of mine died two years ago. She and her male friend lived together for 22 years. Their commitment to each other was deeper then many of the legal marriages I have seen. They had wills made out living possessions to the other. He was her health power of attorney. You can buy homes together, open checking accounts and bank accounts without being legally married. In their hearts they were totally committed to each other. Yet with couples like my friend, the commitment, the covenant they made with each other should also be honored. It was called a common law marriage. It is not recognized by the government. I do believe it is recognized by God. Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. A verbal commitment. Psalm 15:4, NIV who despises a vile man but honors those who fear the LORD, who keeps his oath even when it hurts, who keeps his word The words, even when it hurts, who keeps his word stands out to me. Couples find themselves in a loveless marriage, the passion is gone. They divorce. Staying together even when the passionate love is gone honors God and it will be credited to them both as righteousness. Now we come to abusive marriages. This is a different story. God did not create the woman to be abused by the man but as a helpmeet. God created no human to be abused, no animal or even creation itself to be abused. I see many marriages where there is no abuse; no addictions, no other problem but the love and/or passion are gone. I have heard many say they have drifted apart, grown in different direction, there is no passion, or there is no joy in their union or they just don’t feel married, don’t believe it is a covenant marriage. Yet if your yes is yes and your no is no, they are married because they took a vow. Love is not a feeling but rather a choice. My dear aunt now in her 80’s and widowed after over 60 years of marriage told me once that getting married young like they did is difficult but not impossible. You do continue to grow and mature after marriage. The secret is to make sure you grow in the same direction. In her biography, Laura Ingalls Wilder talked about her parent’s marriage. She said that Charles married a woman, Caroline that who would follow him anywhere. He just made sure he never went anywhere she would not follow. If a couple finds themselves in a marriage where the passion part is gone, that does not mean there can be no pleasure in togetherness. If they have built a life together, raised a family they have much to share. If you do not see it right away, ask God to guide you and find a connection. Another friend of mine confided in me that she and her husband no longer have a physical relationship in their marriage because of health issues. Yet they are very loving with each other. They have a good marriage built on love that transcends the physical part of marriage. When he speaks of her, you can see the love in his eyes and hear it in his voice. There is a difference between ‘falling in love’ and loving. When we ‘fall in love’ everything is wonderful. There does come a point at which the honeymoon is over and the wonderful feelings of falling in love are no longer there. That is when loving becomes a choice. Love and relationship built on mutual respect, kindness and genuine feelings of concern for another’s well being. That is what a real marriage is all about, with or without that piece of paper from the government announcing that you are husband and wife. There are so many couples, even Christian couples that when that falling in love phase stops, they choose not to continue in a relationship. They in effect choose not to learn to love because love is choice. Marriage is work, it takes work. A good marriage or relationship does not just happen the way falling in love just happen. Keeping ones word is what God will consider righteousness. Love is more then falling in love and all those romantic feelings that come with that. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 NIV Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong doing. 1 Peter 4:8 NIV Above all, love each other deeply, because love cover’s a multitude of sins. KraftyKatz :coffee:
Well said, and it needed to be said, for the church of today has been invaded by the world and many believers thinking is that of the world. We have been invaded by the thoughts of the enemy which has now become, sadly the norm.
While I have known of people who have had to flee from a marriage for their own protection and/or the protection of their children as well as people who have been abandoned by their spouse in favor of another, far too often this is not the case. Too many people do not want to "work" at a marriage. Those of us who have been happily married for decades know that a successful marriage requires not only love but commitment as well... much like our relationship with God does, eh?
There are times that one must get out of a marriage for their own safety and well being but the general attitude towards marriage today seems to be - if it doesn't work out like I want I'll just get a divorce. Very sad but true.
Good Blog Katz
Katz I agree 100%. I guess I feel the same way about the general attitude towards marriage today. If you aren't going into it with the intent to stay why even get married.