It is 2:04 a.m. My sleep schedule was so messed up last year due to chemo and other stuff that I'm still sort of messed up. I crashed unexpectedly this afternoon so I'm still awake...for a bit longer anyway.
A few hours ago, I got a pm from a friend here at CB. They were going through a rough spot at the moment and had pulled up a random blog. It turned out to be one I wrote in May of this year. The ironic thing is that blog was based on an older blog which I had written back in December 2007 around the time of my cancer diagnosis.
My friend wanted me to know that this blog which you might say "originated" (because it contained a portion of it) back in December 2007 and was built upon in May 2009 gave her something she needed in July 2009. How cool is that?
I must admit that it also stopped me in my tracks. The things I do now, the choices I make now may very well not just impact me in the future, they may impact others as well. This is very sobering.
I started to think about what things might look like at the "end of the day". What do I want them to look like? Am I living my life in a way that will make that happen? These are serious questions to think about. As a Christian, I need to ask myself, why do I do what I do?
When I stand before God, I want to hear Him say, "You did good! The things you wrote, said and did made an impact in people's lives. You showed them ME. You took that one talent and you tried to use it and it did make a difference, one person at a time."
I do NOT want Him to take out 400+ blogs and say "What is this? How did this glorify Me? How did this strengthen and uplift the Body of Christ? How did this reveal to people who I am? Did this help them as they walked on a dark path? Did this bind up their broken hearts? Did this heal them or draw them closer to Me? Did this cause them to see Me?"
Does every blog have to be spiritual? No, but it should always be something which causes people to grow in some manner whether it is through laughter, tears, learning new things, creating positive dialogue, etc. At least that is the criteria which God has set before me.
You see, while none of us knows how long we have on this earth, at the age of 47 my oncologist printed out a chart which gave me some specifics. My odds, barring the intervention of God, of being alive AND cancer-free ten years from now aren't the greatest. We will see what God has to say about that but I am just being honest here. This causes me to take a really good hard look at what is important at the end of the day....
But Christ has shown me that what I once thought was valuable is worthless. Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have given up everything else and count it all as garbage. All I want is Christ and to know that I belong to him. I could not make myself acceptable to God by obeying the Law of Moses. God accepted me simply because of my faith in Christ. All I want is to know Christ and the power that raised him to life. I want to suffer and die as he did, so that somehow I also may be raised to life. Philippians 3:7-11 (CEV)
This is what really matters! This is why I do what I do! This is why I submit to getting "kicked, bruised, beaten and broken" instead of throwing down the cross and walking away. It is so that others may come to KNOW HIM and the POWER OF HIS RESURRECTION not just when they got saved but in their daily life!
I think this really what matters....at the end of the day.
As you say, we never know how what we say and do may end up blessings and helping someone way down the line.
Thanks for your faithfulness in writing what God puts on your heart.
i am very grateful to you for your gift that you freely share with us all. i know that i am here for the glory of GOD. in everything i do, and say i need to reflect his light. i am inspired by your message to keep on with the gifts he has given me. we have a driving force inside each of us to reach out to those who JESUS puts in our paths. we are not here by accident and noone randomly reads a message GOD has specifically placed right where they can find it right when they need it most. he is so amazing and i am in awe of how he is working in your life and mine and so many others all at the same time. astounding isn't it?