A few days ago, I wrote a blog called When God Says No in which I relate how when I was 16 I laid down my will before God in regards to the life of my dad. A few hours later, God took him home.
Yesterday, I related a similar incident with a different ending to a friend here at CB and I want to relate that as well because I think it further illustrates that sometimes God simply says "Wait." or even "No." Please remember the same prayer was prayed by the same person (me) just about seven years and one month later.
It was November 1984. I was 8 1/2 weeks pregnant (I found out very early because of complications which happened within the first month) and I had been so ill that I got a tear in my stomach near my esophagus. They had trouble bringing things under control. They were finally able to do so and scheduled me for an ultrasound first thing in the morning.
My husband had just left. He had an out-of-town interview for the next day and I was insistent that he go. My mom was leaving for New Mexico the next day as she had just gotten a teaching job out there. I was all alone when they told me they would most likely have to terminate the pregnancy or both of us could die.
I remember laying there that night with tears streaming down my face. I felt completely alone. I was fearful for the life of myself and my baby and I just did not know how to pray. I wanted to pray for his life but what if...what if he would live only to reject Christ? I didn't know what the future held. I didn't know what would be best...but I knew the One who did.
So, I lifted up my baby's life, as well as my own to Him and told God we were in His hands and whatever He wanted was what I wanted. I would trust Him, even if that meant losing my baby. The only thing though...I couldn't make the decision to terminate my pregnancy. I told God such a decision was too hard for me and so I asked Him if He would just make the decision for me... either take my baby Himself or let him live. I just could not take my child's life into my own hands.
I felt like God stepped into the room right then. I know He is always with us but...God knew I'd prayed that sort of prayer before with my dad. He knew I wasn't just praying "pretty words". He knew that I meant them and I knew what the consequences might be. God was there. He didn't tell me whether my baby (and I) would survive or not. No promises were given except for one...He would honor my prayer and His will would be done.
Uterine ultrasounds at 8 1/2 weeks are extremely rare. Most women don't even know they're pregnant yet...at least in the old days. The technician screamed "He's alive! Look at him go!" when my son came into view the next day. They had a terrible time getting measurements because he wouldn't hold still. At that point, the heart is not enclosed and you can still see it beating. I watched it and thanked God that both my son and I were in His hands...no matter what.
The "baby" will be turning 24 on June 1 and is walking with God! I have had the privilege of listening to him share Christ with hundreds of young people and my heart is always filled with thanksgiving as to what God has done.
Sometimes God says yes, sometimes He says no and sometimes He says wait. However, God always gives an answer. As hard as it may be, we must learn to step out in faith believing and trust that the God who loves us so deeply will take care of us...no matter what.
But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, "You are my God." My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me. Psalm 31:14-15 (NIV)May we lay our will at God's feet and let His will become our will...no matter what.
God is awesome
K my mum had the same crossroad when i was in her womb
Thanks for blog