Life gets busy. If you are not careful, you will quickly find yourself running in circles with no time for anyone let alone yourself and perhaps ...even God.
You are full of good intentions. You tell God, "Gotta run but I will be back later. I promise." The thing is, by the time later has come you have either forgotten your promise or you guiltily tell yourself God understands.Yeah. He understands all right. He understands that you shoved other things in front of Him and told Him to take a number.
Does that sound harsh? Perhaps but you must understand I am speaking to myself here. I rush about, telling myself I don't have time to "be still" at the moment but I surely will so when I have a "quiet moment". Then when I feel guilty about it, I attempt to negate my guilt by reminding myself that "Jesus paid it all" and there is "grace". Yes He did and yes there is but the truth remains that I still hurt God very deeply and I will continue to do so unless I make a change.
I hurt God very deeply? Well, what if someone you loved with all your heart, someone you would lay down your life for, treated you the way you treat God at times? Would you simply shrug it off and say, "Oh well" or would you feel pain deep within your heart? Those whom you love the most are the very people who have the capability to hurt you the most.
So, the question I must ask myself is, "Do I want to continue to hurt God?" No. I don't.
At the moment, I find myself overwhelmed with a plethora of things. One family member is not expected to live beyond the next couple of months. Four other family members are also battling cancer. As a cancer survivor myself, in addition to my grief, I am also dealing with "survivor's guilt" as well as fear of recurrence. Then there are other "issues". I have a prodigal son of my own and my heart is breaking. I have an aging parent who is in danger of losing her sight and is having more and more health issues. I could go on and on but you get the idea.
I find myself spinning round and round saying, "Stop! Where are you God?"
I need to stop.
The words I have known since my girlhood come floating back to me:
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Seek God first. Was I doing that or was I seeking other things, like solutions to my problems, first?
Too often, in desperation we fall on our knees and let our problems loose on God. We might call that "seeking God" but aren't we really seeking a solution instead? Is there a difference? I think there is.
A very wise woman once told me far too often we seek the "hand of God" rather than His face. When we do, we are like the crowds who only followed Jesus in order to see miracles. I don't want to be one of those people, do you? I want to be like the ones who followed Him, not because of what they saw Him do but because of who He was and still is. Do you?