Earlier today, I was talking with the new coordinator of the gifted/talented summer school where I teach for four weeks each summer. She had come to check out the stuff I build in one of my classes as she had never seen them before. We were chatting during my lunch break and she talked about meeting me last summer while I was still having radiation treatment. She is a six year breast cancer survivor. She is going to see her oncologist next week and we talked about how "after" treatment is more difficult than the treatment itself as we struggle to find our "new normal". Even with good reports, there is always that feeling that something is lurking in the background, ready to pounce on you at any time.
It is something difficult to explain to anyone who has not experienced this but for those of us who have, it is a reality. There has been a study going on for the past 11 years which has been following cancer survivors who are post-treatment. The findings were shocking. The anxiety of recurrence doesn't appear to go away with time, people simply just learn how to deal with it. Even then, it will slip out from time to time.
I had one such moment this evening. God remembered that although I try to be a "brave" , I am still but dust. He has a great deal of compassion and never snaps at me for having to be reminded again and again that I am safely tucked within His hand. Dare I venture to say that He delights in catching me up into his arms and telling me that?
Through His Word, a patient husband who didn't get cross when I interrupted his editing project with my frantic phone call, kind comments from a few friends and of course...an 85% chocolate Clementine truffle , all reminded me of His love for me and that He will never abandon me. No indeed, in fact, He will carry me!
Yes.... Thank you, Father, for the times you carry us.... for the times there are 2 sets of footprints and the times there are only one set. Thank you that you never ever forsake us. Thank you for your boundless love for each and every one of us. Thank you, amen.
We love you, K!