My eyes filled with tears as I read a message posted by the husband of a woman who is in hospice. He was letting everyone know that he has learned his wife probably has one or two days at the most to live. She had been battling cancer for nearly two years. She is 39 years old and they have two children ages 6 and 4. I was very thankful that I knew that both the husband and wife are Christians and have a good support team of family, church family and friends.
My thoughts turned to my last treatment of chemo which will be this Friday. Earlier this evening, I had been with a group of women with whom I had shared how God was bringing me through this ordeal. We rejoiced together. Now, I could feel panic rising up inside me. What if cancer cells start growing as soon as my treatment ends? What if there are rebel cells in hiding undercover just waiting for me to become a little less toxic? What if? What if? I hate getting a case of the What Ifs!
I opened my email and discovered one of my cousins had sent me a piece on the twenty-third Psalm. I read through it and felt myself relax a bit. Then my mind drifted back to about 35 years ago.
A friend and I had been out walking. Time had slipped away and we noticed it was getting dark so we started to head for home. We suddenly found ourselves on a corner surrounded by a group of older boys. As they moved toward us, there was something in their eyes that suddenly made us very afraid. They were strangers. We'd never seen them before and to tell you the truth, both of us really felt threatened by these boys. As a couple of the boys started to grab us, I heard a car come squealing to a halt. A car door slammed and a look of absolute terror came over the faces of all of those boys. One of them screamed and then shouted "Run!" He didn't need to say it twice. All of them ran away as fast as they could. I turned to see what they were running from. The one who had filled my enemies with such fear was my own loving father. I flew into his arms and my sobbing friend was right behind me.
We had nothing to fear.
My heavenly father is with me. Enemies such as fear will flee before the LORD. They will talk big and brave. They will try to convince me that they are not afraid of my Father. However, the truth of the matter is they cannot stand in his presence! I need to listen to what God says rather than listen to the voices of my enemies. I do not know how many bends in the road I will encounter. I don't know how many dark valleys I may have to go through. I don't know how many deserts I may be required to cross. I don't know how many times the path will seem to be leading me off in a completely different direction than what I think I ought to be going. I do know my destination, however and am confident that God will bring me there in the end.
What a wonderful story, K. What a perfect analogy. You do have a way with that, you know!
Yesterday in my quiet time, the Lord gave me this Scripture that I now share with you:
"But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us" 2 Cor 1:9b-10.
And may I say congrats, on your last chemo treatment!
I'm praying for you!